ESSAY- HEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP

See here they met in Teheran...


The big three...

that's odd because i've seen the name spelled TEHRAN and TEHERAN, im not sure exactly which one is right, even encyclopedia's have different views on the spelling....

Re: ESSAY- HEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP


I'm an amateur, but I have some ideas.

I really like the tone and grab appeal of the 1st sentence.

I think you'd go one better to add a couple of sentences right there to discuss the mood of the country-the world, the war--the incredible importance and significance of that meeting.

comma after 1943 and Churchill if your style is MLA.

, codenamed Eureka Summit, ----> parentheses are allowable, if you choose to use them, no capital for codenamed.

semi-colon should be colon.

Firstly is good place for 2nd paragraph.

war, East Poland

The fact that it would be favorable if Turkey joined with the Allies was also agreed upon.----> say this another way. Don't leave upon at the end.


Even though the Conference discussed the future of Poland, Turkey's involvement in the war and the Partisans in Yugoslavia, the most significant accomplishment was the agreement for the Invasion of Normandy (Codenamed Operation Overlord, also known as D-Day) in June 6 1944.----> The conference didn't discuss anything. The subject at the conference was...? There are several other ways to say what you want to say. Still, you write well. I like your content choices. You keep me interested. Don't see these suggestions as overwhelming criticism. You're good. That sentence should be two sentences.

general info--don't capitalize at the beginning of a parenthetical phrase.

American, British, and... In MLA style. Not sure of other styles...this is arguable, but how I've been taught.

Germany, which

for meeting with Stalin's demands----> is this the best way to say this--exclude with.

public morale, and

All in all, quite good. After you practice a bit, you'll be excellent.

I know it's just the intro, and most people feel safer cramming it in one paragraph--so the two paragraphs decision is up to you, based on how rigid your teacher is.

Good luck!

WOW, thanks a LOT! I have one more question, have i used many passive sentences? im not supposed to but im not really sure what they are, could you please give me example of passive sentences i've used?

Bad news. If my calculations are correct--clarification: I am an amateur!!!--almost all of your sentences are passive.

"was" is a clue, if I'm correct.

I'll go get a definition, as I'm not certain about this, and should be.

However, don't worry. I think it won't be too hard to fix, if they are, indeed, passive.

I'm only doing this because I love your sig line!!!

Heh!

Look at this--easy explanation.

Somebody-- the Invasion of Normandy.... invasion should/shouldn't be capped. It wasn't officially called that, was it?

I think invasion shouldn't be capped.

ok, thnx a lot......glad u like my sig, lol

You're welcome--

I'd pick the noun out of my sentences and show them in action.

Example--

"The Big Three Meet at Tehran" was the headline for several different newspapers in Allied Countries.


{get rid of was}


becomes


Headlines in allied countries across the world read "The Big Three Meet at Tehran."


or


"The Big Three Meet at Tehran" headlined newspapers in several allied countries.



I think you'd come up with a better sentence.

(Check on caps. I also don't think allies, as used in this context, is capped. I think there is a use that is capped, but not this one--but you should check.)

More big 3
Good grief. I can see that several of you in the same class are using this site. One was concerned about passive voice. This one just wants feedback. Because this is clearly an essay to inform, I think clarity is the main purpose, not creativity. I think your assignment already went in, so I'm just rewriting it. Active voice structure makes it more succinct. Compare your original text to this and see if you can list five changes that you think improved the clarity from the original draft, and how they shifted or clarified the presentation of ideas and information.

****
The Allies made several important militaristic decisions at a four-day Tehran Conference (Codenamed Eureka Summit), one of the first "Summit" conferences held during World War Two. They agreed to invite Turkey to join them, to give East Poland to the Soviet Union at war's end--and, most importantly, to invade Normandy.

After the conference, American, British and Canadian troops commenced a five-pronged assault on Normandy Beach on June 6 1944, codenamed Operation Overlord (also known as D-Day). The objective to capture a foothold on Germany was accomplished on the same day.

Operation Overlord was extremely important. It met Stalin's demands, boosted public morale and formed the turning point in the war.