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Sun 11 Dec, 2005 12:05 am
I find myself in a less than enjoyable situation. I've inadvertantly developed feelings for someone that doesn't feel the same. Though we are very good friends & co-workers, the feelings I have and have verbalized, makes it hard to concentrate (wether he's around or not), I'm utterly happy when he is around and feel such a loss when he's not there. Every time I hang up the phone after he calls, my heart sinks. I do not enjoy this feeling of unrequited love whatsoever. I'm hoping some of you out there have been in a similar situation (though I don't wish it on worst enemy) but I really am at a loss. Because we have such a strong friendship, I care about him on top of the attraction that is so much stronger than I've ever felt before. He is much older than I and also married. My feelings about him seem to prohibit me from other relationships. He is what I seem to have my heart set on & unavoidably, my heart is starting to break.
I care about this man and he is on my mind almost every waking moment. I just need to break loose of this hold and keep on living but I'm not sure how.
Please advice.... I appreciate it. I need 1 night without drowing in my own tears.
Sometimes we need to take a moment to realize that not every person of the opposite sex whom we meet in the course of our daily lives is a potential romantic partner.
You are seeing him in this way, but I think that it's necessary to view him in a different light. He's married; instead of imagining what could be, try to become aware of what is.
He's a great guy in a committed relationship whom I have the privilege of working with. I find him attractive, as do many women, probably; his wife is a lucky woman. If there are men like him, then I know that the right man for me is out there somewhere.
You will find the right person, just try not to make the road getting there so torturous. Whoa...I should take my own advice!!!
Welcome Altimaang. I see that you say he is much older than you. It is often that we confuse kindness for something more. Kidness is sometimes a precurser to romance. Most times kidness is just that. I don't know how old you are and what kind or relationships you have had in the past. It may seem that him being nice to you has made you feel all warm inside.
It is not uncommon for men to treat women nice and with respect. Understand that this man will probably never happen for you. You show insight in that you know he's married and you are backing off. Good move. I know other women who wouldn't care and would try and conquer, just for the sake of conquering.
Try not to focus on him as a potential partner. If he's a friend enjoy his friendship.
Good luck
How long have you felt this way?
altimaang, it sounds like you are obsessing over this man. Believe me, I understand, I am an obsessive-compulsive type also. If you're like me, once you fall for someone, it's very difficult to dial back those emotions to a frienship level.
You may need to walk away from this relationship completely. Is it possible for you to find another job that would pay you as well as your current one?
That might sound drastic, but I have a feeling that "out of sight, out of mind" may be the best medicine for you.
It's the only thing that really works for me in these situations.
In the meantime, remember ralpheb's advice. At least you know that there are men out there who are really worth loving. You just need to find your own, instead of someone else's.
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