Queenie, are you saying that when it comes to moral alternatives you are not free?
Not at all--as far as morality goes, I don't really even have what one might call a 'set of morals'. When I say 'morality' I specifically mean as is defined:
1: concern with the distinction between good and evil or right and wrong; right or good conduct
2: motivation based on ideas of right and wrong
The 'distinction between good and evil or right and wrong' is something that has faded in my view. Not that I am undisciplined in my choices or wantonly oblivious in my daily life--I am more disciplined that I ever thought I could be, and very aware of the feelings my actions and words invoke in those around me.
I think I am free almost beyond the idea of morals, altogether. To not feel I must do something because it is 'right' or because it is 'good' -- in whose eyes is it good? that's the inherent flaw in morality -- but to do something because I feel it is what I must do because I must, that kind of 'must' is not the obligation that 'because it is the right thing to do' is.
Not that I'm saying morality is not crucial for our development--it is--it moderates the effects of 'self-orientation' as we (hopefully) 'grow out of it.'
What was it Einstein said? 'Morality is of supreme importance, but to humans, not God.' Something like that.
Morality is subjective and relative, and so there is a possible vantage point in our respective journeys, that lie beyond its jurisdiction.
(in case you haven't realized, I have a dictionary fetish--a penchant for precise vocabulary--just like Confucious is said to have admitted to)