How to put the past behind us and move forward?

If the two of you don't trust each other there is not a whole heck of a lot of possibility here. How to regain trust is going to vary; but the big key is it will take time.

Trust is earned and that doesn't happen overnight. As Sturgis already noted, it's going to take time. There are no shortcuts here.

Takes years to build trust and seconds to destroy it.

well i guess u guys are right I kno it will take time but how do i kno when to trust him again or if I ever should

You won't know... it will just happen....

First start off with listing the reasons why you don't trust him... then go down the list and see if you can overcome those reasons and put them behind you... Are you willing to sacrifice your heart and put in on the line to get hurt again?

thats the thing I don't wanna be hurt again and I kno he doesn't either but I'm not so sure what his Intentions are I kno I don't want to hurt him but what if he wants 2 hurt me I'm not sure it is worth it but at the same time I do love him

Can you love without trust?

thats the thing I dont kno if i can't trust him we can't be in a relationship but i do love him but i don't kno how to regain the trust we once had

yes course you can. It just makes it a lot more difficult and painfull.

You can be in a relationship without trust but it isn't a loving, healthy one. It's one filled with suspicion and anger and resentment. If you are having this much trouble with the question of whether or not you can ever trust him again, do the adult thing and walk away.

ok thx everyone for the advice i appreciate it I just don't get how i've lost trust when I wasnt the one who did anything wrong I didn't cheat so now our trust is gone and it may never be fixed but I won't give up hope

I wish i could walk away but I can't theres way much more to it than that he was ther for me when no one i mean no one else was he's done alot of good things to help me and I wanna help him see that he can trust me again this is one thing I can't and won't give up on

ok so it isn't impossible for us to get our trust back it may take time but it's not impossible well i guess thats good Im gonna try and who knows mayb things will change and mayb they won't but lets just not give up hope yet I kno if we were in a relationship it wouldnt be a healthy one cuz we wouldnt have trust and we'd be angry and thats not what I want so right now a relationship with him is outtta the question but mayb someday it's possible but u never kno

Love isn't all it takes to make things work.

I kno it takes more than love and thats why I want to make this work thats why I need advice cuz im not sure how to go about provin its not only about love

shortygurl, what you are failing to understand is that there is no one way to do this. There is no advice that can be given as to HOW to do this. Trust is individual. Trust does not guarantee love nor does love guarantee trust.

We don't know what's in his head. We don't know the whole story and even you don't know the whole story because you are not him. He may have trust issues from something else that happened long before you were in the picture. He may be an insecure person and you said something that made his imagination run. We don't know any of this and the only person who you can talk to you about his trusting you is HIM. As for how you can regain trust, that's something only YOU can know. Why don't you trust him? That's the first thing you need to figure out. Then you need to sit down and determine whether or not you can live with that or not. Relationships are not easy all the time. And compromises must be made. Whatever you discover about why you don't trust him, you have to decide if you can let it go or if you can't let it go. If you can't let it go, then there is no hope for you to regain trust because it will always be there in the background looming and waiting to come out as resentment and jealousy.

You are asking the impossble question. Can trust be earned back? Yes. Can it be earned back in your relationship? I don't know, and neither does any one else.

A few items of note.

1) Punctuation and sentence structure would be appreciated. Your lower-case, non structured rambling is rather hard to decipher.

2) If this relationship is so rocky to begin with, do you really wish to continue it? Take a good, strong look at your reasons for wanting this thing to work out, then ask yourself if you really think it's worth the years of work that it will take to get to where you want to be with it.

Ok I get it. I know why I don't trust Him And I kno no one is in his head so they only way to find out anything is thru him. I get that thank you and no Im not sure that this can and will ever be the way I want it to be I guess I have two choices one being let it go and give up or two just try to find out if theres a way for us to earn trust in each other again.

Just because you let go doesn't mean you are giving up on him, so don't feel bad about that... sometimes there is nothing left to even give up on