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Mon 28 Nov, 2005 10:54 am
THE JOY OF HAVING DAUGHTERS
My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake.).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet.
I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom.
Didn't they belong in the kitchen?
Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for special occasions (her second mistake.)
Now, fast forward a few months. .It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter.
Next, in came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Then, in came my father, who roared with laughter.
Finally, in came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a special occasion napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge.
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.
"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!"
Isn't it easier to just tell the truth and be careful whom you ask to set the table for you?
Were they maxi pads?
They're super-absorbent, no? I would think they would make for a fantastic napkin on Thanksgiving.
Especially for cranberry sauce.
Slappy
Slappy, too bad she didn't blow up condoms to use as table decorations. To add a little excitement, she could fill the condoms with water and the guests could have a rousing water fight.
BBB