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?? For the MEN... MIXED SIGNALS HELP... (girls can help too)

 
 
Reply Wed 16 Nov, 2005 01:38 pm
Maybe I am just reading into everything too much...

But the guy I have been seeing for about 2 months now is sending my mixed signals... and everytime I think I have him right, the signals change again

We hang out a lot, watch movies and cuddle... I've met his parents and the majority of his friends... he calls me.. yada yada... the classic signs that shout.. hey I like you (not to mention the hugs and kisses)

But then he talks about how he saw his ex and she was all over him or how this girl likes him and this one likes him...

Errr... I don't know what he is looking for and I am scared to ask....

How do I figure out what his intentions for me are without seeming like I am pushing or pressuring him..

I understand if he doesn't want commitment... but I want to know if there is a possibility... because if there isn't then I won't feel bad meeting new people... but every time I meet people I think of him.. and it is driving me crazy...

I am not asking to be his girlfriend... which would be nice and all... but if that is going to happen, I want it to happen when he is ready

So how do I ask him what the hell is going on between us, without sounding like I am saying I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.... because as nice as that would be... that is not what I am asking him....
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Nov, 2005 02:19 pm
The possibility exists that he may not know what he wants, CL.

Young guys often don't.
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Nov, 2005 02:21 pm
Hey CL!

Ok, the main 'mixed signal' i'm seeing is him hugging and kissing and then telling you about all the girls that are messing with him, right?

If that's the case, there are 2 ways to read that.

1) He considers you a 'fling', someone fun to hang out with and sometimes get cozy.

2) Most likely imo, he's telling you these things to get a read on your reactions. Perhaps to see if you get jealous, or perhaps just to see if you care.

I don't think it's a mixed signal, but a good signal. He's testing the waters, to see how YOU view the relationship. GO GET HIM ALREADY!!!

Cheers and best wishes. Smile
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Nov, 2005 02:43 pm
The Socratic method is often best. That means you ask questions about his statements. When he says "my ex was all over me" you say "how did you feel about that?'' or when he says "this girl came on to me" ask him "so what did you do?" or when he says "this chick really seems to like me" you ask "what do you think of her?" etc.
You will find that by asking honest questions based on people's statements you can learn a lot about what they are really thinking.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Nov, 2005 03:07 pm
Thanks for the great advice guys...

I am gonna see him tonight and maybe put some of this to use!

You guys are awesome.... thanks again
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stuh505
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Nov, 2005 05:31 pm
Re: ?? For the MEN... MIXED SIGNALS HELP... (girls can help
Crazielady420 wrote:
But then he talks about how he saw his ex and she was all over him or how this girl likes him and this one likes him...


I think that he's just telling you these because he's comfortable with you and he trusts you. I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not he really likes you. Regardless of how much he likes you, he's still going to like getting attention from other girls...and these are things that he would tell a friend, it doesn't mean you're just a friend tohugh.

Quote:

How do I figure out what his intentions for me are without seeming like I am pushing or pressuring him..


I really think talking about your relationship status before you have made any kind of a "chemical connection" (im talking about "chemistry" not exchange of fluids...) is going to kill the spark. The next time you're cuddling, you just have to try...acting like a little bit more than a friend, and see if he goes with it
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mikey5time
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Nov, 2005 07:12 am
Since you've made multiple topics on this guy, I'll give you some straight advice.

You want to know what he wants from you? Ask him.

Ain't a damned thing wrong with that.

Otherwise your going to be on this site for the next 4 months trying to pick apart 'signals', when in reality there's no way to know exactly what he's sending you.

As it's been said, he could be sending certain 'signals' on purpose to throw you off. Just ask him and get it over with.
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smog
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Nov, 2005 12:13 pm
mikey5time wrote:
You want to know what he wants from you? Ask him.

I agree with mikey here. If you don't like the uncertainty and if you don't like the situation you're in, you should just ask him. Maybe the guy will freak out. But at least then you aren't left in the uncertain position which you seem to dislike so.
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