Report Cards/Teacher’s Meeting

as a teacher, he/she should have enough experience with kids to know just WHEN something is personality , and something is a problem.

( defending the teacher... and NOT ) - maybe this 'shyness' HAS gotten in the way of your daughters progress?
maybe she is standing back a little TOO much when it comes to class activities and the teacher is wanting to approach it with you to see if there is a way to help your daughter not be too intimidated ?

On the flip side-
Shyness doesnt take away from learning. People can learn alot by just staying quiet and letting things take the course they will.
Maybe the teacher isnt aware of that. Or is just used to kids bounding all over the place , and when one child does not, it seems as though there is a problem.

Do you know any of the other kids in the class?
maybe it would help if there is another 'shy' child to compare her to ( i hate comparing kids.. BUT )
To show the teacher in examples that are obvious.. that your daughter is doing fine.

Try bringing examples with you to the meeting .
Examples of HOW your daughter IS retaining things and repeating them accuratly at home.
If they are working on math.. and your daughter has papers at home that have math problems on them.. completed..... Bring those.
Spelling, writting, anything..
try to find something concrete that you can show to the teacher that your daughter is doing fine..

Tell the teacher "thank you for taking the time to notice some of my daughters individual personality".

If she goes on to indicate she feels it is a problem, let her talk and see if she is saying anything that sounds good to you. If she is just trying to foist a more outgoing personality on your girl, then simply tell her that "it's a wonderful world where lots of different types of people - shy, outgoing, quiet, and boisterous - can balance each other out and learn from each other". Tell her you are not going to push your daughter to be like other children and although encouragement in the classroom is highly applauded by you, any criticism made about or to your child or severe pressure put on your child will be frowned on by you. You are happy with your childs personality and are sure it will develop nicely at her own pace.

I am betting the teacher is happy with everything your child has been doing but wanted to notate that she knew something individual about her. Remember she has to write something about each and every child and it they can't all say - does well in school. She has to put at least one thing on the report card that might need a little work on (just like a employee review really!) so when you show no worry about the shyness of your child, the teacher should respect your view.

Shewolfn - it is great to have a viewpoint from some one that is not personally close to the situation.

I doubt her shyness is getting in her way as she has done very well. And she has been rated very high even in areas where she is working as a group. Actually all her grades are above average or excellent (except a couple rated satisfactory). The three subjects they give number grades to - the lowest is 93 out of 100%.

I guess I am a bit defensive especially since her doctor stated that many people confuse shyness with lack of confidence or not as smart, etc. In that way, I worry about her being perceived as something other than what she is.

Also, I don't want to come across as attacking her as she is a very good teacher - I just want what is best for my daughter of course.

It is a very small class (only 13 students) and they all know each very well. All but one was in the same kindergarten class. I know almost all the children myself and she is probably one of the quietest.

Perhaps us just telling her how much she likes her class and teacher will help. I know in kindergarten the teacher was concerned she didn't like school because of her quietness - when in reality my daughter loved her teacher.

Heeven - I think you hit it on the nose - my concern that is. I am worried that the teacher may be trying to force a more outgoing personality on her - when she is fine the way she is.

I was a painfully shy kid ... and look at me now!

Wait, mebbe that's not such a good example!

When my younger daughter starts going to school - they are going to be in for a rude awakening. After her big mouth gets going, the teachers are all going to wish for a shy child again.

I'd ask the teacher whether her shyness is getting in her way socially--if so, what would the teacher recommend.

Is your daughter able to manage "Show and Tell" in front of the class?

I know she was prayer person one week. Basically prayer person says the prayer for the class. She was very proud of being prayer person.

Also, she had to give a little presentation about what she did with the class mascot when she brought him home. The class mascot is a little teddy bear and each child gets to bring him home. They must write a little about what they did with him and draw a picture in a note book. The next day, they read what they wrote to the class. She told me she was able to tell the class without even reading from what she wrote.

I have also seen her in the school Christmas production and spring production. She has no problem being on stage with her class singing her heart out. She loves being on stage. I had the gym teacher even comment on how you can hear her singing and how surprised she was on how she doesn't seem shy about singing in front of everyone.

I don't believe that her shyness get in the way socially - she had all the girls over for her birthday and you can observe them playing together. I also get to see her play with some of boys in aftercare. She also has gone out to dinner with one family from school one night and has spendt an afternoon with another.

But in any case - and to get another opinion, I will ask about how she presents in front of the class.

Linkat--

I'm sure you'll be an exemplar of tact.

We have the opposite problem - always had - that my
daughter is too outgoing, talkative and energetic in class.
Mostly this was the topic of parent/teacher conferences
as well.

I am a firm believer in NOT changing the childs personality
and character trades. If the child is disruptive, yes, that needs
to be addressed, but my daughter never will be a quiet one,
and I won't allow them to force her into something she's not.

Linkat, your daughter is only 6 years old and she probably
needs more time to be fully comfortable in her class.
Being quiet does not necessarily account for shyness,
plus it could help, if she was seated next to a child that is
also quiet as opposed to someone really extroverted.

I think Heeven's got it. Teacher had to write something just to prove that each student is known as an individual. Maybe, if she doesn't notice a student, that's proof enough that the child is shy.

Shy is a word and reserved is another word.

I was the world's shyest six year old, hardly had been around other children at all. And look at loudmouth now, compensatory mechanism gone amok.

The key is that you said she will stand up for herself. I am not sure I would have then. She'll be fine, and may turn into a respected leader. Let her not be boxed in.

Thanks all for your thoughts - the meeting is this afternoon so I imagine all will go well.

I also agree in not changing a child's personality. To me she is perfect the way she is and certainly being quieter than the other students can in many ways be a blessing to a teacher. I would imagine that I will get the opposite report on her sister in the future.

The teacher also may want some feedback that everything is all right from my daughter's perspective - that she is not being quiet because of some sort of problem.

From your description, I think your daughter may be overcoming her own shyness.

How did the meeting go?

Yes, Linkat, how did it go?

We have our parent/teacher meeting tomorrow..

The meeting went very well. The teacher asked if we had any questions or concerns first, so I jumped in. Since my daughter was supposed to give a presentation that morning, I started with that. I basically said, I know you commented about my daughter being shy and quiet. I was wondering how she did on her presentation as she was very excited to give it. The teacher said she did very well, but was hard to hear as she spoke so quietly. She also mentioned while she was prayer person she spoke up very well so she could be heard easily. The teacher said she complimented her on how nice and loudly she spoke and my daughter had a smile ear to ear all day.

She mentioned that half the class was very quiet like my daughter, while the remainder was the complete opposite - she has no one in the middle. We talked about her general progress and those areas where she was not above average - the teacher explained was normal as these are generally areas that children develop as they grow older. She also asked us if there were any suggestions on how she could help our daughter. We did point out about the positive reinforcement. My daughter really loves being complimented and pointed out what she has done really well.

We are definitely very fortunate to have such a kind and thoughtful teacher. She even mentioned how in the beginning of the year she tried to connect with my daughter from the start. The teacher was friends with another former teacher in school who happened to be the mom of my daughter's best friend. This family moved to another state during the summer. The two were talking and the mom mentioned how close the two girls were, as a result my daughter's teacher on the first day, told my daughter that she spoke to her friend and she would be sending her a card.

If anything the meeting did make me feel even better about the teacher and the school.

And best of luck to you CJ - let us know how your meeting goes.

Linkat--

With home and school working together, this may be the year when your daughter learns to smile sweetly and use a carrying voice.

You must be delighted at your rapport with the teacher--and with your daughter, of course.

We are very fortunate, Noddy. I also try to help out where I can at her school, for example, tomorrow I am taking a vacation day so I can chaperone for my daughter's field trip.

I think it also helps when you let the teacher know how much you appreciate all she is doing for your child. I understand how hard they must work.

Even the teacher needs some positive reinforcement.