help - revise paper

Hi and welcome to A2K. As a non-native speaker, I think you're doing pretty well. I'll tell you what I think.

You must remember that, in English sentences, the subject (noun - what the sentence is about) and the predicate (verb - the "action" of the sentence) must agree in tense; that is, if the subject is plural (second sentence, "these") the predicate, or verb, must also be plural ("impose").

I'll start from the beginning. I hope I can explain as I go along in ways that will help you with the rest of your work.

When using "traits", the following phrase should either be "of the ... plant" or "of ... plants". I would restructure the sentence to read "...have the ability to simultaneously attract pollinators and herbvivores, such as..." I don't think you can incur a herbivore. You incur damage from herbivores. And a floral herbivore might be a flower that only eats vegetable matter. Just leave it at herbivore for now.

"Nectar robbers" like bees do not inflict damage to reproductive processes. In fact, flowers developed nectar to attract them, as their travels from bloom to bloom spreads pollen, thus genetic material. If you are speaking of another kind of nectar-seeking creature that does not give reproductive help, perhaps it would be good to specify that in some way.

Leave out "One of" and start the next sentence with These. Change the verb to impose to agree with the subject (making both plural). English idiom requires "damage to", not "damage on". Take out "male and female" -- reproduction is reproduction. Or you might say, "damage to male and female reproductive parts."

The next sentecnces (beginning, "Floral herbivores consume...") are very confusing to me. What are you trying to say? "Herbivores that consume flowers, the sexual organs of plants, are considered to be a major cause of reduction to reproductive success." might be better.

<The next sentence makes no sense to me. You seem to be restating that herbivores cause reproductive damage, then adding that pollinators are insufficient to fill the reproductive requirements of damaged plants.

This seems self-evident: if the flowers have been eaten, there's nothing left to pollinate. Or do you mean a type of herbivore that simply eats part of the flower, perhaps causing it to wilt and deny passage to any passing pollinator? You really need to be more clear here.>

Next (and last) sentenceI don't see a need for "however". Pluralize "pollinators". Delete the comma before simultaneously.

All in all, a good beginning to a scientivic paper. It states the problem (damage to reproductive success caused by predators of several sorts, which are attracted by the specific characteristics of the plant that are designed to aid in reproduction) and it explains that not many studies have looked at more than one aspect of this problem through both experiment and analysis.

Should this paragraph also set forth a statement of how your work will proceed? Will you examine the previous studies and report their findings, or are you going to do your own experiments and analysis?

I apoligize for being so wordy. Let me know if what I've said is confusing, or if you want more info.

Good luck with your paper and, again, welcome to A2K!

Thank you very much.
From your reply, I believe that you are a patient and professional mentor.
As you know, I must learn syntax in the next future, but I receive help from you,fortunately.
However, I'm afraid that I'll encounter many difficulties during my writing.
Would you mind tell me your E-mail address?
If you agree, I can send a real microsoft-word document to you everytime.
My E-mail address : [email protected]

Best Wishes
Liaokuo

I have a further revision of paragraph.
This is the first paragraph in my paper, I plan to write four paragraphs which compose "Introdution" i.e. the first part of paper.

The advertising traits of entomophilous plants attract pollinators, but the advertisements may also attract herbivores such as floral herbivores, nectar robbers, and pre-dispersal seed predators (). Such antagonisitic visitors often reduce the plant reproductive success (). Floral herbivores that consume sexual organs of plant are considered a major cause of such reduction (). A growing body of evidence demonstrates that floral herbivore's attacks of attractive tissues can indirectly decrease plant reproduction outputs, as pollinators' services are often insufficient to fill reproductive requirements of damaged plants, especially when compared to undamaged plants ().Thus, an overall evaluation of floral herbivore damage is particular important to understanding of the evolutionary and ecological consequences of plant reproduction and dynamics of population of species. However, only a few studies have examined the direct and indirect effects of floral herbivory and pollinators on plant reproductive fitness with simultaneous experiments and path analysis ().

Outstanding! You have rewritten and clarified this paragraph very well.

The only thing I would say now is that English idiom requires some minor changes. You also need a few more articles (a, an, the) than you have used.

Here are some examples: Floral herbivores that consume ... of A plant (ot that consume ... plantS); ... floral herbivores' (let it be plural) attacks ON attractive ...; ...understanding the evolutionary... (leave out "of").

Idiomatic usage in English is terribly confusing because it's arbitrary -- native English speakers put words together in ways that don't seem to be correct, but carry the intended meaning. It is, perhaps, difficult to understand when you should say "attacks ON" instead of "attacks OF". This will come, though, as you learn and practice.

I'll accumulate more idioms in the future.
Again, thank you so much for your help and advice.