We'll probably compromise with her getting her way across the board.
That's not a compromise... that a capitulation, darn it! Well, you and your family gotta do what you gotta do. I'm sure that the positive aspects of being together will outweigh these personal differences. I am such a bossy bitch that I cannot imagine any sister of mine telling me I ought not to make what I wanted. Hah. If one of them complained, they'd get "the look" and they all fear "the look."
Traditions are good, no doubt about it, but so are innovations. I like them both. I have recipes I've grown to love but I'd never insist on them for others nor on any specific foods. It is, after all, just one meal. I still laugh regularly at my brother who "must" have creamed corn. (He was always like that, even as a little kid!)
Ossobuco -- I hope I didn't offend you with my waxing rhapsodic over people getting together for the holidays. It was an astounding revelation to me when I realized one year how pleasant it could be with just the four of us having a thanksgiving meal together instead of the twenty-five or so that we've sometimes had crowd the table. With fewer people everything seems so much easier. We kept the schedule we wanted. We still dressed for dinner, still made the table looks as fancy as possible but it was even more special because it was just for us. I imagine that same attitude would continue if it were just one person. It is the person who wants to be a part of something bigger that is the one I am concerned with -- and for anyone like that, the solution Farmerman suggests seems perfect. Whenever you help someone, there's a tendency to forget your own troubles.