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Serious news! Australia Invades United States of America!

 
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Dec, 2002 07:06 am
Why not?

You guys house-trained?
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Dec, 2002 07:13 am
More or less . . . we gotta feed ourselves, though, right?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Dec, 2002 07:28 am
I can provide the can opener!

LOL
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 5 Dec, 2002 07:33 am
Bring yer own hot plate, huh?

Lovey . . . Have we got a hot plate aroun' here somewheres?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 01:01 am
I can provide the hot plate!

You guys serious?
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 07:05 am
I wish, darlin' . . . sigh . . . too poor, for the moment at least . . .
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 07:09 am
wwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 11:03 am
More on QANTAS, from P45:

A classic...

ever let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.
By the way, QANTAS is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P Stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log.
S Stands for the corrective action taken by the service mechanics.
ENJOY:
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
S: Auto land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. (Note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 02:21 pm
Now - HOW do you know they are real? Those are priceless!
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 03:15 pm
I don't really, Boss, i got this from an Irish web site, but even if they aren't, the sense of humor is good . . .
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 6 Dec, 2002 05:03 pm
Hmmmm - I confess I sometimes used to let me sense of humour loose in medical notes when I worked in a hospital......one I can remember was when I saw an intern on one of my units had written, after the medical team had come up with some patently ridiculous and impossible course of action about a patient: "Plan: Chase social worker." I wrote back: "Social worker not running away, has turned and is ready to fight; request ridiculous."
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2002 02:15 pm
am i supposed to be looking for a hot plate? would it need adaptors? are we bringing our own chef?
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margo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2002 02:22 pm
Jeez - you're not coming Confused Sad Surprised Question

I've just been scouring all sorts of grotty dives, looking for bagels, which, I understand, are the only things that Northamericans eat, with choppedliverugh! Shocked Or maybe maple syrup? I've been thrown out of several places jut for asking!

Setanta - loved your list - who cares if it's true (but sounds quite like Oz humour) - bloody good answers.



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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2002 03:21 pm
We have LOTS of bagels in Adelaide - but our doughnuts aren't the same as yours...........
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margo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Dec, 2002 03:27 pm
Well, that's it then - all dem Nortamericanos will havta go to Adelaide.
Cool
I did find a bagel in Sydney: it was about the consistency of a bicycle tyre - but then - I guess that's what you expect, when chopped liver improves it Confused Razz
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