old feelings

I'd say stop thinking about him, you allready told yourself you don't want to see him so the best thing you can do is put him out of your mind. Keep thinking about how you don't want to see him and he'll be on your mind more then if you wanted to see him. Maybe take some time to sort things through then leave them where they be

Dj--

Some people--and I'm one of them--have absolutely no sense of direction in the physical world. Turning left, hanging a right, heading north, drive into the sunset.... We get lost with distressing regularity.

Other people have absolutely no sense of temporal direction. I think this lack is more common in women than in men. Women have an affair, give of themselves, accept from the lover (and if the affair turns sour a lot of what they accept from the lover is hurtful and wounding). Men move on and women mull and mourn and wish, "If only....."

Some people actually "enjoy" ill health. Give some people with delicate digestion an opening and they will yatter on and on about belching and farting and cramping and what foods they can't eat (but love) and what the doctor said and.....

Having a delicate digestion becomes part of What They Are.

Do you want to go through life thinking of yourself as a Woman Damaged by Love? Or are you a Woman Who Once (in her Romantic Youth) had a Fling with a Charming (but Flawed) Frenchman?

Turn this semi-charming Algerian into a picturesque part of your past instead of an empty spot on the pillow next to you.

Cole Porter did a great job about putting past love into perspective:



Remember, once you get the past sorted out, the past is prologue for the rest of your life.

Thanks Noddy. I have tried to look at it from that perspective, and am continuing to try. I cared about him. And I am beginning to realize that I probably hurt him as much as he hurt me. So, whats in the past is in the past. It still hurts though because I don't know if I would have left him if I wasn't physically leaving. But four months in a country is just that - only four months. You cant build love in only four months. I can take this relationship for what it taught me:

1) to speak french with confidence and not worry about every little mistake I make in conversation (he didnt speak English, and I was forced to speak French with him)
2) to appreciate his culture (Algerian/Kabyle), and to understand Islam better (he was non-practicing, but still taught me a lot)
3) to appreciate the romantic possibilities of a few months, and also the limitations.

He was a good guy, but our relationship was flawed, and that seems easy to understand in theory, but it was really hard to leave. Thanks for the advice.

Oh, by the way, I love that Cole Porter Song. I have a version sung by Ella Fitzgerald.

No better mentor that Ella for fractured love--except, perhaps, Dorothy Parker:


http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Dorothy_Parker

opposite sex friends
I truly believe in what Noddy 24 noted. There is alot of good advice in her statement. DanielleJean, i would love for you to think about this and everybody with a thought, do reply.

My childhood sweetheart & I said we would be friends from day #1. We dated for 2 years and that was that. We have both married and are with children (me 9 years & him for 4 years) yet we both still have a passion for each other as friends. He is like your best girlfriend but is a boy.

With a honest hug, smile, & chat we'd go on our merry way with peace in our hearts when seeing each other rarely over the last 10 years.

We have recently exchanged phone numbers and chat and I feel I have found the long lost friend and piece missing from me. My husband knows him and is indifferent and his wife is the same. They do not care that he and I chat b/c we are nothing but friends. We can laugh and joke knowing that we are both there for each other and love our spouses even more than ever b/c we are both glad we are who we are with.

it all goes down to....if there are people in your life, be them the same or opposite sex, and you cannot get these people out of your heart or your head, you need to seek them out & find peace with yourself. Life is only but so long and we all need friends (the more, the better) b/c there is power in numbers and more hearts to listen to you when you are down.

I just feel that GOD PUTS EVERYBODY IN YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON AND YOU SHOULD LOVE EVERYBODY EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT B/C YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MAY NOT HAVE THEM. I have heard that repeatedly throughout my life and believe it with all of my heart!

daniellejean, can could still be friends with him. men hate that statement but an occasional e-mail or chat every once in a while may be good for both of you. just wondering. this is my situation, and just trying to help you. GOOD LUCK IN WHATEVER YOU CHOSE