Oral Sex

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. We spend a ton of time together and enjoy each others time. As I've gotten to know him, I quickly realized that he doesn't want to go down on me. This is the first relationship in which I'm rather shocked that he doesn't want to. I've asked him if it's my hygiene, or taste, or what is it? He just says the word no.

He doesn't answer me. He used to not like affection either....kissing, making out etc...but he's warming up to that.....he said he's been with other women whom he's gone down on before...

He expects to cum in my mouth sometimes, ok, often...not everytime...but....

Is this selfish of me to tell him that I would like it if he would go down on me? I've mentioned it once and it ended up in a fight...he said I'm selfish because one day I brought it up 2 or 3 times...but that was over a month ago....

Is this too selfish of me to want to know answers? Since the topic hasn't been brought up for awhile...I don't want to start an argument, but I really would like an answer.

What do you suggest?

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Maybe he'd start talking about it if you suddenly stopped being in the mood for BJ's Wink

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In any relationship there is give and take. If he wants you to do him but he refuses to do you then it is all take on his part.

A couple of questions.
Is he willing to spend any time trying to give you pleasure? Using his hands? Kissing other parts of your body?

Does the sex always revolve around him? Does he ask you to do things and then get upset if you don't?

The only one being selfish is him. Not wanting to even talk about him performing on you what he is getting regularly.

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Nope. Flat out tell him that if he expects you to do it, you expect him to do it. If he can come in your mouth, then there should be no issues with him going down on you. Like everyone has said, love and relationships are give and take and if he won't give, then you need to re-evaluate this relationship. If you guys talk about it and make any decisions on who goes down on who or who doesn't, make sure you come to an agreement that benefits both of you.

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No, it's not selfish of you to want it back or to ask for it.

However, it seems to be a sensitive issue for him. Or something he is not willing to even discuss and will avoid by starting a fight. Or he justs like to take and not give 'cause he is that kind of guy.
Back Off. Stop making it an issue about yourself (Oh, am I selfish, is it my hygiene, is it me me me??).

Stop questioning yourself. Instead, start looking to see what is going on with you hun-hun there.
......Can you see any possibility of <insert graphic image> soon?.....
Laughing

p.s. If this is the worse of your worries, man, you've got it sweet! Very Happy

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If this is the worse of your worries? This man is a deranged psychopath ready to snap and start killing baby bunnies, you don't want to be in love with a potential baby bunny murderer do you?

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Deler wrote:

If this is the worse of your worries? This man is a deranged psychopath ready to snap and start killing baby bunnies, you don't want to be in love with a potential baby bunny murderer do you?

Men who are getting BJs don't kill bunnies. It's the ones that aren't getting them that have it in for bunnies.

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Stop giving him bj's and I assure you he will bring up the topic of oral sex. You are not being selfish and the fact that he claims he has been comfortable doing it on other women is suspicious. I think he is in control here and you have to make a stand. He at least owes you an explaination as to why he does not want to return the sexual favor. If you're giving him sex that leads to him have an orgasm and you with a sticky mouth, I'd say you have to decide if you are really his girlfrend or just his 'ho.

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Good advice from everybody, if you ban the BJ's he will think again about saying no to you.

Guys brag, he may well have performed oral on other girls but he may have been critisised by one of them which puts him off doing it again.

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Green Witch wrote:

Stop giving him bj's and I assure you he will bring up the topic of oral sex. You are not being selfish and the fact that he claims he has been comfortable doing it on other women is suspicious. I think he is in control here and you have to make a stand. He at least owes you an explaination as to why he does not want to return the sexual favor. If you're giving him sex that leads to him have an orgasm and you with a sticky mouth, I'd say you have to decide if you are really his girlfrend or just his 'ho.

Virtually word for word what I was going to say. It saves me a lot of typing.

Why not try "Your pleasure" and "my pleasure" sessions, on an alternate basis. One time, he is the one that gets enough "special treatment" until he is satisfied, the next time it is all about you and your needs. This will give you a golden opportunity to communicate with him about what you like and don't like, and subtly teach him (if necessary, and being very careful of his possible fragile ego) how to do it properly.
After a short while, it may become a natural thing for him to give as much as he takes and you can revert to proper mutual naughties once again.
If he's not happy with doing this, then he's a selfish b*stard.

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I remember the first time I did it....it was terribly exciting, but bloody terrifying at the same time. We almost ended up playing the "cold, warm, hot" game!

Cold....cold....getting warmer....getting hotter.....at which point I suffered temporary deafness for the next five minutes.

It seemed to do the trick though.

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oh Lord....you crack me up. Laughing

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....that's precisely what SHE said!

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The first time I recieved oral sex I thought I had become eviscerated. I glanced down and was relieved to see my intestines were not spewing out.

I tapped Slappy on the head and said "Thank you" and then went out for breakfast.

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LOL

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No wonder his skin is so smooth and radiant.

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I now realize my mornings on the computer were very dull until I found all you A2k wackos.

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Just say, "Honey, if you don't want to go down on me, then you're going to have to go ass to mouth instead."

Yeah, that'll do it!

High fives, air guitar...etc.

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my advice -
good sex is 1% of a relationship
bad sex is 99%.

If after four months together, 99% of yor relationship is based on bad sex
i'd bail on it.
He obviously has a problem, for what ever reason, and it isnt working for you.
Save yourself some heartache and some stress and start working your way out of the relationship before you have too much invested.
Lack of communication ( his adament NO! ) is a big key as well, If he is not willing to talk about sex , one of the most important things about a relationship, what else wont he talk about later on ?

my other advice..
just sit on his face.
he has to talk sometime.
Tell him to repeat tortilla over and over again.. or sing.. lalalalalalalalalalalala
Laughing

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shewolfnm wrote:

my other advice..
just sit on his face.
he has to talk sometime.
Tell him to repeat tortilla over and over again.. or sing.. lalalalalalalalalalalala

I shall now go and walk the dog, with wonderful imagery dancing around my brain. Thanks, Shewolf.

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