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Mon 7 Nov, 2005 10:00 pm
My balls were hanging around one day, as they are prone to do, talking to pass the time. Lefty said to Righty, "I am feeling so freakin' sperm-bloated, dude. Seriously, when the hell was the last time this guy got laid? I need some action. I'm going out tonight. How about it, Righty? You wanna come with?"
Righty turned to Lefty with a skeptical look. "Please, Lefty...you know damn well that we can't go out. If we leave the scrotum, we die."
"Yeah, whatever," said Lefty, annoyed, "You just keep on listenin' to Ol' Swingin' Mushroom Head. He keeps on feeding you that same line and you keep on believin' it. Not me, dude. I'm gettin' the hell out of here...tonight."
Righty pulled himself back up into the scrotum and then let himself drop back down in a "here we go again" gesture. "Oh Lefty, I really wish you'd stop with these crazy ideas--"
"I will NOT!" shouted Lefty abruptly. "And it isn't crazy! Dude...I hear things...I've heard that there's a whole world out there...a world beyond the nutsack, where testicles can come out of the darkness, and live in freedom and peace forever, free from scrotal tyrrany...now I fully realize that you are content to live without the answers to life's most meaningful questions, Righty, but me, I need to know. And I have waited long enough. Tonight, I leave. I've even figured out a way to do it, dude."
"Oh really!?" Righty laughed, "Oh, I can't wait to hear this. Go ahead, tell me how you plan to make your great escape into the unknown."
"Well, okay, but keep it quiet, 'cause I don't want Ol' Mushroom Head to hear this..." his voice became a whisper, "...I talked to the brain a few days ago, and here's the plan..."
When he was done explaining, Righty's mouth hung open in disbelief. "You do realize that Ol' Mushroom Head will never go for this. It would mean his ruin."
"Don't you worry about Ol' Mushroom Head," said Lefty with a dry smirk, "I've got a plan..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What diabolical plan is Lefty hatching? Will Ol' Mushroom Head find out about it? Will Lefty finally be successful in his quest to find out what lay beyond the nutsack?
Find out the answers to these and many other questions next time on Life in a Nutsack.
This has to be in the Music and Lyrics section for a reason, Mr K.......
I'm thinking "Nutbush City Limits"? ........
Nice idea, LE, but nope, it's just a dumb mistake. I was actually going to post a beautiful musical tribute to my balls, but then when I started, this came out instead, and I forgot to move it to the proper forum. Damn!
Um.... did I say that out loud?
Nice one, littlek...now come over here and help me rub some ointment on my aria.
Aria = solo = you dothat on your own......
Scrotum, scrotum, S-C-R-O-T-U-M
Scrotum, scrotum, S-C-R-O-T-U-M
It's brown and wrinkled and covered with hair.
If I didn't have one, my balls would be bare!
Scrotum, scrotum, S-C-R-O-T-U-M
What a wonderful little ditty, Drewdad. I have been singing it all day!
In honour of this masterpiece, I have erected a monument.
So.....WILL Kicky's left and right gonads break free and have a night on the town?
WILL his third bollock feel lonely and unwanted?
WILL Percy the penis lose his authority, and become witheringly impotent?
Stay tuned for the next instalment of those adventurous New York nuts.
I think the boys deserve a trip into Bushville this weekend. Why is Kicky so mean to the boys?
That carpal tunnel syndrome is causing real hardship for the boys down under.
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