anyone live with their in-laws or parents?

Many, many years ago, I lived at my parent's house with my first husband. It was horrible, but then again, so was the marriage!

Phoenix--

Second the motion. At least I got a clear view of the warped family dynamics.

it is a bit uncomfortable.
But that truly depends on the family dynamics.

I currently live with my mother in law.
oh holy hell.. for US PERSONALLY this was a horrid decision. BUT- that is because of the dynamics.
she is reciently widowed and a full blown alcoholic.
Combine those two and you have WWIII in your back pocket.

If this is something you are thinking about doing, why dont you spend some time at their home.. dinner, breakfast.. random visits ....
Hang around and see what they are like BEFORE you step in.
When you first arrive, there is always the time of polite small talk and " how can I make you comfortable"
Give that time to pass and see what it is really like.

Talk about what is expected. If necessary, write up a 'chore sheet' , define each persons space. .. is there room for you to have certain items on display.. to use your own couch... etc.
Talk talk talk..
treat it like a business plan.
Dont ever assume.
Expect you and your husband to be sharing almost every aspect of your life with them and vice versa.

Our experience has been generally good. My in-laws moved in with us 4 years ago. My mother-in-law has sinced passed away. My father-in-law is active in community theater at age 79, and does the dishes, laundry, and the floors.

He has some annoying personal habits, but then again, who doesn't?

I would say there are no hard and fast rules. Personalities are key. And ground rules, such as shewolfnm suggests, are a very good idea.

Greyfan- I think that although there are some similarities, there is a big difference between a young couple living with parents, and aging parents moving in with their child. Each scenario comes with it its own set of difficulties.

A young couple needs to be on their own, if at all possible. They need to create their own way of doing things, their own "culture", and perceive themselves as separate from their parents. That is very difficult if the young couple is living with parents.

BBB
mark

A friend of mine lives in a two bedroom apartment with his wife two young kids, his mom his stepdad and his sister, I don't see how they do it but they appear to be somewhat happy. I'm sure it isn't fun but they're at least close

Agreed, Phoenix. I would have been far from overjoyed if we had moved in with them 30 years ago. Best if the situation is only temporary for a young couple---and a last resort at that.

We currently live with fil. and are trying our HARDEST to get the heck out of here!! i am just finishing up with school and had an interview the other day so hopefully soon!!

Noddy- Funny that you should say that. I think it took a couple of years away from my parental home, when I started to understand the level of dysfunction that I had experienced there.

I think that when you are a child, your family is the center of your universe, and you tend to view everything through that lens. When you get away, and are on your own, you have a better concept that there are choices, that the way that your parents lived does not have to necessarily be the way that you will conduct your life. That is why I think that it is so imprtant for young couples to be on their own as soon as possible.

Phoenix--

The First Mr. Noddy had a number of quirks and character flaws. I had three months of living with the conditions which caused those characteristics.

He loved his neurotic/psychotic little ways and habits far more than he love me or his kids.

I get a long extremely well with my in laws but we lived with them for a year before the marriage and 6 months after it and boy was it weird. Can' t walk around naked or even in your underware. Sex? On the floor so the bed didn't squeak. Are you paying rent or other expenses? Sometimes, paying rent helps to establish what kind of relationship is happeneing. You are paying rent so you can't be told what to do, type of thing. It isn't always bad but you do want to get out asap....you need a life alone with your husband.

very true....yes Bella's right, no privacy...and yes, sex on the floor or on a matress..And i'm sure it's just as irritating for them (the parents) as much as it is for us...

Lots of indians live with their in-laws/parents...some are ok with the loss of privacy, some arent... personally, I dont think it's such a bright idea really..

A friend of mine and her in-laws used to live in the same apartment building but in two separate apartments...i think that was nice for her and for them...especially since her retired mom-in-law liked to babysit her daughter...