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Tue 1 Nov, 2005 03:20 pm
If a man is genuinely interested in you or if he just wants to have sex? Is there any way to truly know this these days?? Or is it just a gamble you sometimes have to take?
I've been hanging out with this guy for a while who calls all the time, want to see me all the time, yet pretty much everytime we are together he wants to have sex. He tells me that this is not all he is after, but he doesnt understand why i wont do it. He assures me that he would not just blow me off once he gets it. I just have trouble trusting...i really dont know what to believe. It seems like the simple answer is, if the guy really likes you he will wait. Well last night the guy said to me that it would almost be easier if i just stopped talking to him because that way he'd stop thinking about me all the time and about having sex with me. SO i said, fine if you'd rather i didnt talk to you to make you feel better i'll do that. His response was, no, because you know i'm still goign to want to talk to you. It's just getting kind of annoyed...i really am scared that once i have sex with him he will have gotten what he wants and have no reason to want to talk to me anymore.
Listen to your gut instincts, and you won't go wrong. This character is just pushing much too hard.
re
that's kind of how i'm feeling...i mean if he were really interested in me then i think he'd have a bit more game than to not be so pushy about it. It just seems like anytime we're alone together this conversation comes up. It makes me feel bad about myself...it's like isnt my company enough?
re
anyone else?
He called, i saw him last nigth, but he didnt try anything...he said he just wanted to see me. He lives near the water so we just sat by there and talked, it was nice...i just get so afraid of getting used....
how long have you been seeing him, and how much of that time has he been pushing about the sex?
I'm with Phoenix on this. If he's pushing sex that much, that would send a red flag up for me.
You do what you feel is right for you. Do not let him push you into something you are not ready for.
There are plenty of men out there that will respect you enough to respect your decisions. You go girl!
If you have to ask then it must not be right.
Bella Dea wrote:If you have to ask then it must not be right.
That is the ultimate wisdom right there. You go Bella Dea!
re
well i was feeling uneasy about things, but after last night i feel better...i know this wont be anythign really serious with him (he's leaving to go in the military soon) but i still dont feel like i want to be outright used.
Re: re
mchalel wrote:well i was feeling uneasy about things, but after last night i feel better...i know this wont be anythign really serious with him (he's leaving to go in the military soon) but i still dont feel like i want to be outright used.
And you shouldn't ever feel used. Whether or not you decide to have sex with this man is a choice that is yours alone. It's your body. If you feel used, you shouldn't have done it. If you want to have meaningless sex, do it but don't be suprised if you feel differently afterwards. The point is that only you can decide what goes into (no pun intended there) and happens to your body so if it doesn't feel right to
you, then don't do it. Have some respect for yourself and remember that even if you aren't smart enough to know what's best for everyone (not an insult) you are smart enough to know what's best for
you.
re
i know...its just been a long time since i've had sex...
I have found myself in this other persons shoes quite a few times, even in the presence of that which I loved beyond any other; this is exactly what I did. Haveing experienced much and given many a day to reflect upon, I now have a very different view of this type of situation. I can completely understand how this may take place and although he may have the truest of intentions towards you, one must ask; is this something I want? Is this how you want to exist with this person? With sex aside you could be very close, however at the same time with sex involved your existance can corrupt. I say the truest is without ultimatum! However you can't hold it against one who places such a definition on your loves purity
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