"I'm not cold!!"

Forums: Parenting And Childcare, Ear Infections, Adenoids, Otitis Media
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This has been driving me crazy forever. Sozlet, soon to be five, hates wearing a lot of clothes. She is happiest when it is about 78 degrees and she has as few clothes on as possible. Thing is, when it's 68 degrees she also wants as few clothes on as possible. Or 58. Or 48...

It's not a problem to get her to wear clothes outside or out of the house in general. (Probably because when she tried to pull this when she was tiny it was made clear that she would wear the clothes or we would stay home.) But I have a terrible time keeping clothes on her at home. She does know not to be naked; what we're talking about is that she'll come home from school, peel off her jacket and sweater, then peel off her shirt and pants and socks and go upstairs and come back down in a miniskirt and a short-sleeved shirt -- bare legs, no socks, no shoes, no slippers. :-?

We keep the thermostat at 68 or so -- this translates to different actual temperatures throughout the house, and the family room (where we spend a lot of indoor time) is one of the colder areas. I would guess it's lower-mid 60's. (I'm sitting here by the window in my down jacket and my fingers are still cold. Insulating/ weatherproofing the family room is another thing that could help.)

I don't want to keep the heat up for this stupid reason. I could certainly lay down the law, but am trying to figure out if it is worth it. I do remember my mom constantly telling me to put on sweaters and stuff when I was a kid and not feeling at all cold.

The only reason I have any urgency about it is because last winter was a blur of illnesses and I'm really fixated on doing everything I can to keep her healthy this year.

I've been plying her with hot drinks.

Thoughts?

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since she is SO creative,
why not buy some white socks, long sleeved white or other solid color shirts,shorts etc..

puff paint, markers, glitter etc.. and let her design her own winter wardrobe?

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i should probally elaborate..

my thinking with this idea is that she will WANT to wear what she makes.
If you buy all long sleeves, long pants, socks... etc.. then she will only have those to wear.
Maybe begin boxing up her shorts and short sleeved shirts as well?
Just tell her, it isnt the time of year for it.
Have her help you box your shorts and t shirts as well so she sees it isnt just HER clothes that have to be put away for right now...?

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I'm absolutely no help here because Mo usually wants to be completely naked no matter the weather.

I'm hoping to pick up some get dressed tips.

I'm usually chilly, Mr. B is fine and Mo is a toaster this time of year. I figure he won't get sick from just being cold since we're not in hypothermia situations. I hope my assumption is correct!

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I doubt cold is related to illness, but could be wrong. I always thought winter colds and flu came from being confined indoors with lots of sick people. In other words, I think she's doing just fine, and will be acclimated to winter sooner than the rest of the family.

That's just one person's opinion. My only qualification for parenting is having once been a kid myself.

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Is it actually a problem for her to be running around in 68º with little on if she is indeed not cold? It's not like she could become hypothermic. And, has there ever been any science backing the cold temps=sickness idea?

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I'm looking up gettting a chill and getting sick - I remember learning it isn't related, but don't know that I'm remembering right.

Here's the first link I found, re colds. The relevant bit is a fair way down, but the first part is so interesting I decided to just give the link -
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/cold.htm

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From Osso's link:

Quote:

There is also no evidence that your chances of getting a cold are related to factors such as exercise, diet, or enlarged tonsils or adenoids. On the other hand, research suggests that psychological stress and allergic diseases affecting your nose or throat may have an impact on your chances of getting infected by cold viruses.

Worrying about the Sozlet's transition wardrobe could make you susceptable to a cold which you'd then give to her....

My older son used to go out to the bus barefoot in the snow and put his shoes on in the bus. My daughter-in-law used to go out with shoulder-length, wet-from-the-shower hair which would freeze and then dry.

Her metabolism probably moves along faster than yours and she doesn't feel the cold as you do.

Children!

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Further thoughts:

You wouldn't quarrel with the Sozlet on whether or not spinach was a delicious vegetable, would you? Spinach is not worth making a major fuss about. I think layers of clothing might be the same.

You've probably been doing a certain amount of Trust Your Feelings Discussion, teaching her that her body belongs to her and she should not let anyone do anything that makes her uncomfortable with her body.

Then you insist that because you are chilly, your daughter should put on more clothes.

She's neither a neurotic nor a moron--just a kid with an active metabolism.

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Hi guys, thanks.

Yeah, what I was getting at with "I could certainly lay down the law, but am trying to figure out if it is worth it" is whether it actually matters. I have vague ideas that being cold for long periods uses up more energy and saps the immune system, but wasn't sure if that's actually true. (Thanks for links -- still would like something more specific to this situation, as in vs. the weather, but it's a good start.)

If it doesn't have any ill effects, I plain won't worry about it.

Really good thoughts in your last post Noddy, helps me recalibrate. Thing is she DOES get cold, at least some of the time. It's probably one of those things where I have to lay off so it doesn't become a power struggle, and then if she feels cold she'll just go ahead and put on more clothes if it's her own idea and not finally capitulating to my pleading. Sigh.

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Fostering independence isn't simple.

Hold your dominion.

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I'm with Noddy. I came here to say that you are teaching her to trust herself, her instincts, her feelings... Why would this be any different.

I never made a fuss about making the kids wear a coat or bundle up. They have survived.

(Bear is complete opposite on this and even at 14 and 16 tells them to put on a sweatshirt / coat when it gets a little chilly. Meanwhile, I'm walking out the door in shirt sleeves.)

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OK, so, what do I do about the following scenario:

She does the post-school change thing and comes downstairs wearing not nearly enough. I suggest she puts on her fuzzy slippers or a sweater and she says "I'm not cold!" I say yes, but if you put something on you won't GET cold and she says "I won't get cold!" I do whatever. She does whatever. 30 minutes later she comes running up to me shivering and saying "I'm cold!" and gets on my lap and puts her frigid feet under my shirt on my bare tummy.

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You are entitled to say, "I told you so." Or at least murmur that you thought this just might possibly happen.

Further, you can remove her cold feet from your tender flesh and continue to foster her independence and integrity by suggesting that she get her slippers.

You might even make a rule that while she doesn't have to wear the slippers right after school, she has to bring them downstairs with her so they will be handy if her feet have better sense than she does.

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nods to noddy...

body temp goes down as settling down occurs. If one comes into a 65 degree house from a long walk, at least in my house I find it hot. Some time later I find it too damn cold.
I wish I knew about body heat earlier in life (now there was a movie).

Perhaps this happens more for people who are out of shape. I have always been out of shape, even when I used to jog a lot or walk lots of miles. A vibrant almost five person might have a steadier situation..

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I have a hard time as well, resisting the urge to say "I'm cold. Put on a sweater!"

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Oh, for heaven's sake! <stomping foot> Tell that child to put on a coat when it's cold outside, and no arguing!

Since when did a 5 year old know what's best for her?! If she suddenly decided she didn't like wearing shoes, you wouldn't allow that, would you? What if she decided she knew best about when to cross the street? She doesn't know what's best...that's your job as Mom. Besides, her aversion to heavy clothing is something she needs to get over.

I'm all for respecting a child's sense of independence, but not when it comes to matters of health and safety. Then, as adults, we are the boss. No power struggles allowed. We decide. Period. End of discussion.

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Heh...!

Well, that pretty much neatly sums up my two minds on the matter, and why I'm here.

First, to reiterate, going outside is never a problem. She puts her coat on, or sweater, or whatever is necessary -- no issue at all.

So it's only inside the house, where it is 65 or whatever. Is that actually a health or safety risk?

That's the central issue I'm trying to figure out. If it is, obviously, the law gets laid down. If it isn't, it's a needless imposition of will.

Osso makes a good point about being hot and then getting cold later.

For now, while I keep trying to figure out whether a house temperature of mid-60's (68 by thermostat, has to be lower than that in the family room) actually poses any kind of a risk, (I am more reassured than when I started this that it doesn't), I'll just keep doing what I have been doing in the above scenario. I go ahead and snuggle, get her warmed up, then cock an eyebrow at her so she says, "I know, I know...!" and goes and gets more clothes.

I have noticed that when I lay off she gets to that point sooner, though.

I like the idea of leaving the slippers downstairs, one less step.

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mmmm, ehm, <tapping on the microphone>

just one little disgruntled note: looong history of feuding with my american friends. i gotta add my latin american friends are with me on this one: i don't care what research says (it says nothing one way or the other anyway), but ancient wisdom given to us from grandmothers and to them by their grandmothers and to them by their grandmothers suggests that being cold does[/] translate into colds - especially runny nose and sore throats. also when you run out in winter with wet hair (yeah, you, littlek) you're asking for trouble. you may not get a cold. but you are way way more likely to.
stepping off the podium, bowing, leaving the room.

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Yeah, that's what my gut tells me, and I usually trust it, but it does occasionally lead me astray.

You'd think it would be easy enough to prove if it were true?

One thing I've found while researching is that dry conditions of winter are a major risk factor for colds. The house definitely gets very dry one we have the heat on; there is a humidifying system but E.G. has mold allergies and is scared of it. Could be part of why my gut is telling me to give her lots and lots of steamy showers and ply her with hot apple cider and hot lemon and honey and lots and lots of plain ol' water...

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"I'm not cold!!"

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