Your kid's friends, their religion and snacks.

Heh, back in the day when mine was a wee one I guess I learned about the same way you did today. Trial and error.

My daughter was/is a diabetic so we'd usually just mention that when we'd run into her friends parents so that they were aware. Some would ask a lot of questions, others not so much. At the time I was more concerned about the reaction a parents would have if they walked in and found her "shooting up" with her insulin but most of them realized right off the bat that high sugar foods were verbooten.

Once they knew most of them went out of their way to make sure that if something was going on (i.e. a B-day party and such) that there was sugar free stuff available too.

I always operated under the assumption that it was the responsibility of the parent of the kid to identify any special needs. If they didn't say anything then it was anything goes... (In my house that generally meant Peperidge Farm Goldfish were in abundance! )

Yep, I usually assume there isn't a problem unless I'm told there is. I usually ask if there are any allergies if someone's coming over for food, whether it's a playdate or a party. I'll also usually ask for preferences at that point -- I mean like "she hates bananas" or "he'll only eat orange food", but that's a good opportunity for parents to get anything else in.

So far, have only dealt with the "only eats orange food" brand of dietary restrictions.

Oh and in general I don't trust little kids with any of this information. If it's something they don't like, fine, but if it's something they DO like and DO want and the parent would prefer they DON'T, I don't expect 'em to own up to it. (Something like that happened with sozlet's best friend, forget what, but she [bf] said "oh my mom always lets me have ___" and then I asked the mom and she rolled her eyes and said uh, NO.) (Plus when I was a little kid I wasn't allowed to have any sugar and was a sugar fiend at friend's houses and lied about it. Sorry, mom.)

That is an excellent example of what I'm talking about fishin'! Thank you.

Medical dietary requirements are even more important to communicate. I can envision someone spending the rest of their life in prison for giving some kid peanut brittle, or birthday cake, or letting them get stung by a bee.

Mo does that same crap to ME, soz. "Soandso says I can eat ding-dongs every meal." Or, <snort> other mommy says it's okay for me not to blahblahblah.

So, yeah. I don't even trust my own kid with that information!

And your sugar-fiendism..... I've always suspected that moderation is indeed the secret to everything!

Oh yeah about moderation.

Sigh...This is a health issue. Religion has nothing to do with it, unless you want to pray at a funeral for a child with Diabetes 2.
The USDA is way ahead of all this. In my state, all isd's are required to have SHACs in place. We can thank Tx Commissioner Susan Combs for that .
This is a good place to start: www.mypyramid.gov
For more information call your State Commissioner of Health. As a parent, I look to the government for services. That is what they do. Provide for us. Bush signed the WIC Reauthorization Act of 2004, requiring all schools to comply to a "Wellness Policy". They are doing a wonderful job regarding health/nutrition. I am very involved at my local level regarding school health. But, at some point in time parents need to listen and take charge......so is the government supposed to walk into your home & cook dinner? Common Sense..............
Boom......if I can help contact me by pm. Education for parents is the key.
For the children
Advocate in Austin Tx

Yellowlab, religion does have to do with Boomerang's question. Refer to question.

Many of us understand nutrition pyramids.

On medical matters, I almost posted a comment re how important knowledge of peanut allergy is, since in certain cases anaphylaxis can happen fast and fatally... but I decided to be quiet for a bit, since Boomer's question is immediately related to issues re snacks and neighbors' religions. I'm glad to see the topic widen, myself, especially after the initial question is addressed, but it isn't helpful - at least in this instance and somewhat generally - to instruct the person who wrote the question on what she was talking about, much less with a sigh.

I was brought up in a kosher house. I don't think I even truly realized that until I was starting Hebrew School (3rd grade).

Once I was aware, I pointed such things out as needed. When I became a vegetarian (age 13), I would also do so, but often I would just get around whatever was being served. Big pot roast at V___'s house for dinner? No problem, I'd just load up on vegetables and V___'s mother would rant about how great I was, eating vegetables and all that. This also solved the kosher deal once and for all.

But it can be an awkward position for kids. I think it's got to fall to the parents, if something is important to them, religiously, or if it is an allergy issue, then I think they've got to speak up to their kids' friends' parents. And that's a function, I suspect, of general communications among parents. V____'s mom and my mom weren't buddies, but they were pleasant to one another and it was not out of character for my mom to call up M___L___ (V___'s mom) and have a chat, and not just about me or V___.

I recall that at summer camp my folks passed on the info re my being kosher and then, when I was older, re me being a vegetarian. I think it was a line on the application, asking about dietary needs or preferences.

WOW! yeah, it DEFINITELY is a relegious issue....

what if you are a observant Jew, Muslim, 7th Day Adventist, Hindu and on and on.

If a kid's in good health with no allergies (most kids ARE normal you know) a soda or pork rind might not be a parents preference for his kid to get when playing with friends, but for God's sake, it's not going to fundamentally change the kids life. Actually, I'd be hesitant to have a little kid in my house where the parent would be so obsessive about every morsel of food that goes in the kids mouth.....but give a pork rind to a kid belonging to any of the above relegions and you've commited more than a faux pax.

If a parent doesn't want to have his kid eat something, or a group of foods, he just needs to tell the guest parents....I'd be pretty much a no brainer that a parent would tell you his kids alergic to nuts or is diabetic.

Sorry, but it's just as simple as that.

As an adult, I eat small amounts of food all the time that I don't particularly care for, or wouldn't be my choice because they aren't healthy. However, if someone invites me into their home, and offers me a gift of food, which is the same as offering their friendship, I'm not going to insult them by not taking a bit....and, even though I might think it tastes horrible, if it's obvious it's something they enjoy, I'm going to say - my, this is good, thanks!

Food is not just food, it's relegion, society, friendship, trust, a gift.

In the same way boom that you showed concern over what a child in your home should eat because of their relegion. The child needs also to learn that unless it's against their relegion or a health issue, they should take a small bit of what is offered to them, as a sign of respect and friendship.

Remember how you hated your Aunt Tess's kaboodle surprise? But remember the love in her eyes when you ate some and told her it was good?

Now, your Aunt Tess, because she loved you, would have searched all her receipes to find you something else, but she would always in her heart know you didn't like her favorite dish.....

I know that's off track with the food/relegion/health issue discussion, but you know what? Sometimes it's about something much larger, like your friends, your friends relatives, or your Aunt Tess.

If I my daughter's friend(s) visiting, I would expect that the parents would tell you of any dietary restrictions, whether it was do to religious reasons or allergies or any other thing - like a picky eater. If I did not get any specific information from a parent, I would assume anything goes. If it is something as important as an allergy, I would hope a parent makes it clear as day that the child cannot have an item. What sort of parent would not inform a host of an allergy? That is just pure irresponsibility of a parent.

It is the parent of the child's responsibility to tell if there are any unusual things about their child when leaving them with some one else for the first time - not just about food restrictions, likes or dislikes, but any other quirks. This makes things more comfortable for all. For example, I will let some one new watching my daughter that she is very quiet and shy when first meeting some one. She may need a little more encouragement and direct questions than other children.

Also, whenever I expect a guest(s) is to ask what they prefer. Prior to a child coming over, simply ask the parent what a child prefers eating. I have done this even with adult visitors. However, for things like birthday parties it can be difficult as there will be several children there so I just serve whatever I think is appropriate. So unless some one tells me ahead of time, then they are out of luck.

I just tell parents to keep their kids' greasy paws off my meth. Then we don't have that annoying problem of "kids coming over."

I do understand that it is a health issue, yellowlab but I'll let the schools worry about what they serve on their property! Still, I'll put down another check in the "private school" column of my school decision index since they don't rely on Pepsico for funding.

I saw a documentary once about how kids where were prohibited sugar at home would gorge on it when given the chance, eating much more than the kids who were allowed it in moderation -- just EXACTLY like what soz was saying.

osso, I remember the fist time I ever heard of a nut allergy. I was in high school and someone brought a snack to share in art class. The abstainee explained her allergy. Now you hear about such things quite frequently. Food allergies seem to be on the rise, don't they?

jespah, I suspect that explaining the "rules" of vegatarianism are much simpler than explaining "kosher". I understand kosher is very complicated.

It can be awkward for kids and little kids might not really understand it. If Shep hadn't blurted out his soda comment I really would have never thought of it from a religion angle. (Turns out he does get soda at home -- just not orange soda.)

It really is more than a faux pas, Chai.

Food is such a given in most households where preferences and habits tend to over-ride actual thought. Not eating beef in your own house, for a kid, is a given -- then they show up at someone else's house and get served steak, or hambuger or whatever. Teaching a kid how to politely decline based on religious principles requires a bit more finesse than it does for medical reasons.

I agree with what you're saying about the community of food and that absent restrictions based on religion or medicine that kids should be encourage to politely try things.

I think you summed things up very nicely, Linkat. It most certainly should be the parent's responsiblity to inform the host of taboo foods.

I want to be sensitive to the issue but I don't want to hand out compulsory questionaires every time Mo has a little visitor!

I'd never given it much thought before and it's great to see how other parents have handled it from both sides of the issue.

Thank you!

(DrewDad -- just before the door completely closes you can yell "Now you kids remember to keep away from the guns!" and that gets rid of the little varmits too.)

That's an interesting topic boomerang.
Frankly, it hasn't been an issue (so far) for us, hm....

My daughter doesn't drink soda, so it's always juice or
kis water bottles with fluoride. Snack is most likely a small
bag of chips (I always have plenty of chips in the house), and lunch/dinner is either pizza or spaghetti when we have
little guests.

heh,, We had a corporate luncheon yesterday and several of us were discussing this very thing.

For myself, when I was a child my mother bought soda and "snacks" when she went grocery shopping but we (the kids) were never allowed any of them. If we wanted something we'd get handed an apple or a glass of water. She'd partake of these after we went to bed at night but we always knew they were there.

When times like Halloween, Easter, etc came around we all gorged on the candy and most of my siblings and I all ended up with terrible eating habits as adults.

With my daughter, there was always junk food around and it was always available to her (this was prior to her becoming a diabetic) but she rarely ate any of it. She'd go out on Halloween and collect candy and the next Halloween we'd throw away what was left from the previous year. Her plastic pumpkin would sit on her dresser all year long and the stuff would rarely be touched.

Several others mentioned the same sort of results in their own families.

Yep. That's what I'm seeing with sozlet, too. I mean, she likes candy and has a sweet tooth, to be sure, but she's also a lot more casual about it. We still have some candy in the cupboard from a birthday party a few weeks ago that she knows about but hasn't asked for.

We don't have a ton of junk food, but it's not all healthy-healthy either. (Carob, the bane of my childhood existence...)

We live in a predominately Jewish area. Many of the girl's friends who come here are Jewish, some keep Kosher, some do not. I don't know all of the specific rules but I know not to put cheese on a roast beef sandwich or not to offer ham/bacon etc. for lunch. Once the kids are older they can tell you what they do and don't eat, but in the meantime you either ask the parents or assume the parents will bring it up first if it's an important enough issue to them.

Ahh, well I don't have kids but this made me think of a funny story I wanted to share along these lines.

I was a live-in nanny/maid for a family with two boys. A friend of theirs was over at suppertime. He was Native American. I was making pork chops, potatoes, veggies, and cookies for dessert. He wanted to stay for supper, it was all a go.
Well, when they sat down and he saw what I had made he said "I can't eat white food. I can't eat this."
I thought this was peculiar, and asked "What's white food?"
"This stuff. I only eat brown food."
"What's brown food?"
"Cereal and peanutbutter sandwiches. That's what I will eat. Not white food."
(I was trying not to laugh; bc I knew this was his way of saying he just prefered pb and cereal).
Well, no problems, I thought. I made him a sandwich and he ate the potatoes and veg so it was a fine meal and I felt okay.

When his mom came to pick him up, I told her about it. She laughed her butt off. Apparently, he used this a lot. The kid just really really loved cereal and pb sandwiches! His family had no specific dietary restrictions.

ACK! CJane Just yesterday t got into a disagreement with a woman over floride the other day when she was boasting how her water filteration system removed floride from tap water.

Now I'm thinking of asking a question about floride.

You can't really go wrong with cheese pizza.

Or can you?


fishin! Your mother sounds downright mean!

The thought of men disussing sugar gorging over a corporate lunch is enough entertainment to sustain me over a long boring day at the trade show. Thank you for that!

J_B, I had friends who were kosher and friends who were quasi-kosher (maybe jespah can enlighten me on the proper term for lackidasical kosher eaters). The strict kosher kids had incredibly rigid rules governing their diet. I for the life of me could never remember them all.

Ha! flushd, that is funny. It makes me think of my sister who lived for years and years on grilled cheese sandwiches and potato chips. She refused to let anything else pass her lips.

No, cheese pizza is a safe bet, so are spaghetti and popcorn as snack.

boomerang, I had no opinion about fluoride either, but our dentist
recommended the kids water bottles with fluoride, in addition to fluoride
tablets he gave us.

There are some questions about ingesting fluoride, as opposed to just brushing your teeth with it. You can probably find plenty of web info.

I once made the faux pas of feeding a five year old those chicken nugget thingys - she loved them. The only problem was her family was vegetarian and she had never had meat before. I was a young au pair and no one had told me anything, they had just dumped the kid at the home I was working. She lived and everyone got over it.