How do you find a good guy?

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It seems so impossible sometimes! I dated this guy on and off for almost three years. We were REALLY close! We spent every waking second together, and we were best friends! We got really serious. We talked about the future...a lot! and HE would be the one to bring it up! We talked about marriage and kids and all kinds of stuff like that! He made me so many promises! And then he broke up with me, with no good reason behind it, and I haven't talked to him or heard from him since! That hurts so unbelievably bad! How do I trust another guy? He promised me everything a guy could promise me, and it was all a lie! He betrayed me, and everything that we were! I thought he was the right guy. I thought he was a good guy, but I was wrong. So how so I know in the future? It's so hard sometimes....

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An answer to the topic question.......quit looking for one....that's a start. "Things happen when we least expect them" Good luck.....Sorry about your guy, but sounds like you're better off with out him anyway.

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There are good men, there are bad men. There are good women, there are bad women. You have to sort them out by seeing if they keep their word, treat you with respect, and watch how they treat other people (in the case of men, especially watch how they treat their mother). As you have more experience with men it will be easier to tell the good from the bad. Sometimes the bad are very good at making themselves look great, so take good notes. Look for "red flags", don't ignore your head in favor of your heart. Listen to your gut instincts. Be honest with yourself and you might get lucky and find a really great guy. If not, be a complete, fulfilled person on your own and you'll have no regrets.

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Yes I agree with all the other comments posted here...
dont bother looking, the right one will come along maybe not today, but he will eventualy, and when he does you will know... :wink:

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Good job, Greenwitch!

I would only add: Present yourself and BE the kind of partner you want to attract. Be honest at all costs.

Be honest with yourself and others at all costs.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Razz

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I understand your pain as Im going through the same probem as you right now. This will probably be my third failed relationship but i belive somewhere out there I will meet my happiness one day.....So try to ride through this storm and good luck.

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Green Witch wrote:

There are good men, there are bad men. There are good women, there are bad women. You have to sort them out by seeing if they keep their word, treat you with respect, and watch how they treat other people (in the case of men, especially watch how they treat their mother). As you have more experience with men it will be easier to tell the good from the bad. Sometimes the bad are very good at making themselves look great, so take good notes. Look for "red flags", don't ignore your head in favor of your heart. Listen to your gut instincts. Be honest with yourself and you might get lucky and find a really great guy. If not, be a complete, fulfilled person on your own and you'll have no regrets.

BRAVO! Excellent advice!

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:-) The second time that I have agreed with Debra_Law today.

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Its kind of hard to meet a good guy. Most of the good ones, dont go out. Their at home, writting up their computer programs and their working towards their masters in engineering or what have you. Their too shy to go out and just walk up to women and start a conversation. not only that, you have to find them attractive.. But hey they are out their. you just cant go out the to bars or the clubs expecting to find that perfect guy. now im not trying to sterotype, but we all know the good ones are hard to find. just as him sure us good women are hard to find for them. their are so few of us out their... if i were looking for someone, i would take some classes, or join a club, or team, or a sport. it seems like the bars and partys arnt the best places to go looking for a poetntional longterm relationship

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ConfusedMale wrote:

I understand your pain as Im going through the same probem as you right now. This will probably be my third failed relationship but i belive somewhere out there I will meet my happiness one day.....So try to ride through this storm and good luck.

Once, it happens. Twice, maybe. But three times? IMO, you need to look within yourself and determine why those three relationships failed. Is there a common thread amongst them? Are you attracted to a certain type of person with whom the relationship is bound to fail?

I know a guy who had a number of relationships that failed badly. In his case, he knew that he was attracted to "psycho-bitches", as he called them. They were exciting, and he loved the roller coaster ride. Ultimately the relationships HAD to fail.

He now is with a wonderful woman. He had to reach a certain level of maturity to understand what kind of person is good for him, and will make a lasting partner. In fact, he broke off with another "psycho-bitch" to be with this great woman. He still has feelings for his ex, but knows that she is no good for him.

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flushd wrote:

Good job, Greenwitch!

I would only add: Present yourself and BE the kind of partner you want to attract. Be honest at all costs.

Be honest with yourself and others at all costs.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Great advice, rather then saying be honest I'd say be true, not everyone looks for honesty and honesty doesn't always attract honesty, sometimes it attracts dishonesty.

Be able to look at yourself and someone else for who they/you are

really I don't think theres any way to tell if someone is a good person until you can spend time with them, you can think of certain things but they usually go out the window once you get to know someone. Where to find that person; who knows

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How do you find a good guy?

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