How Will I Be able to Trust a Guy again

Take a break from guys for a little while... clear your head and let your heart heal.... then worry about learning how to trust again...

thank you christine i kno but im not so sure i can trust many guys as friends either only the ones that have been in my life for a long time ya kno i dont wanna let new guys in the circle of friends to trust im not ready for that i just wanna keep the friends i already have and not trust anyone else as for men and relationships im done for a really long time maybe even for good i cant take this hurt anymore the best thing for me is to be alone

Well, being a guy, I may not be the best person to answer this. But to me, trust has a lot to do with respect. And love. And to be honest, it means getting to know each other. Spending time together before jumping in the sack together.

Personally, in today's society, people are jumping into bed with each other just because they want to have sex. Sex has become just a way of getting to know someone better rather than an expression of love given between two people who already know each other well enough to make a lifelong commitment. Now you can call me old-fashioned or a religious nut-case, but my opinion is what it is.

But don't give up on us Shortygurl. There are good ones out there. Ya just gotta look for them.

Have a good day.

You can't trust us. Any of us. We suck, and all we think about is sex.

Trust takes years to build and seconds to destroy. It isn't something you will just get back. It will take time and the right person. You need to learn how to love yourself and make yourself happy without relying on someone else before you can find a meaningful relationship.

No one can give you advice on how to get your trust back because we don't know why your trust was broken and how you feel about it. Time and trustworthy acts are the only things that can get it back, along with your willingness to let someone back in.

Nah, you're not done for good. Sometimes we need to step back and assess where we are in life. Guys can complicate that process and if you're questioning yourself and what you want from life, then this is a good time to take a break from romantic relationships and focus on you.

Do you like to journal or write poetry? If you haven't tried it before now is a great time to buy yourself a little notebook and write down some thoughts. Be selfish, make it all about YOU. Who are you, where are you going, what to you want, how do you make it happen? Start to picture the you you want to be. Write about it. Draw it in your book. Visualize it. Make it happen.

Then, you'll be ready to focus on someone else. Right now, you need to focus on you.

Nana says, "the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone."

Go whore it up, woman.

How the heck do you get any work done, if that's the case BVT? :wink:

dude i cant take it anymore every guy ive ever trusted has screwed me over in some shape way or form my last relationship was my best friend for a year and then we started goin out and was together for 2 years and was the only person i trusted then all this bs started and now hes with someone else and wants to stay friends with me which i cant do cuz i dont trust him anymore and i never will he broke my heart and my trust for anyone i need to keep my guard up and not let anyone in the circle of trust i dont think ill ever b able to trust a man again no offense ive trusted way 2 many people and have been screwed over badly im 19 years old and been through some **** some adults havent even been through and im sick and tired of bein walked all over like that i deserve better but apparently thats never goin to happen and i have to face it

A few notes:

1) Not every guy you ever trusted has "screwed you over". It sounds like you've had a string of rotten luck with men, but we're not all bad, and we're certainly not all out to get you. If you believe you've been screwed over by every guy that you've ever trusted then I'd take a strong look at your expectations, and at the way you deal with your relationships.

2) Definately take a break. Get your head together. Despite what you may be feeling, life is far from over. One thing you have to understand right up front in any relationship. . . "Deserve" plays no part in it. What you do is find a guy that is all about giving. In turn, you have to be all about giving. Once you get to a point in a relationship where giving to the other person is foremost in your mind, you'll find that your relationship will be untouchable. Neither of you will ever harbor doubts about wanting to leave, or mess around, or "screw over" the other.

3) With all respect, you're 19. You've seen nothing, despite what you may feel. I have no doubt that you're having a hard time of it. The good news is you're still very young, and have the ability at this point to change your outlook on life. Some men are pigs. They are filth and swine with good looks and good lines. Ignore those men. If you want a solid relationship that will last, look for the guys that actually care.

Some things to look for: Does he open the door for you? When you first talk to each other during the day, are the first words out of his mouth "How is your day going?". There are obvious signs that a guy is all about you. Look for those.

Lastly, be careful with your trust. You've already discovered what many people have somehow been able to avoid. If you put your trust in a rotten bridge, you can't call "foul" when the bridge breaks and then say you hate all bridges. When you find someone that gives to you, and is willing to put you first, then let the trust follow.

If you continue on the way you are now, not trusting anyone and being leary of everyone, you'll never be happy.

Aptly spoken, Questioner. I could not have added any more or attempted to say any less.

[quote="J_B" Be selfish, make it all about YOU. Who are you, where are you going, what to you want, how do you make it happen? Start to picture the you you want to be. Write about it. Draw it in your book. Visualize it. Make it happen.

Then, you'll be ready to focus on someone else. Right now, you need to focus on you.[/quote]

Take this advice! Seriously. At 19 it is all about you and figuring out who you are, what you want, and exploring! Invest in yourself. Everything else comes from that.

There is some weird soceital 'thing' that seems to drill into girls heads that it is somehow selfish to put ourselves first. It isn't selfish at all.
You shouldn't even be thinking of men in terms of a serious relationship at this point in your life.

Live your life....and stop wasting time worrying about boys!

OK here is an old guys perspetive:
what does a guy look like that you cannot trust? answer: he looks like a guy.

What does a guy look like that you can trust?
answer: he looks like a guy.

More than likely you have been dating "bad boys" yea they are real cool that got attitude and everything. News flash! Bad boys are only around to get laid and to piss off your parents. They are not into the long haul.
Advice: go to college, get an education, focus on YOUR life. when they time is right you will meet mr right. If the time isn't right you will meet mr I want to bet mt rocks off.
Clear enough?

You might have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.

It's highly unlikely that you're going to meet your prince when you're only 19 years old. How can you trust a boy your age to make a lifetime commitment? You can't. Who wants to settle down and be tied to a relationship at such a young age? You have your whole life ahead of you. The key to successful living is to respect yourself, trust your instincts, develop your interests, and secure your financial independence through education or appropriate job training. You will find the love that's right for you in time--no need to rush.