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Wed 19 Oct, 2005 12:46 am
I had one of those fights with my husband where I tell him that I didn't like something he did to me, then he decides to throw more logs on the fire telling me that he didn't like something I did like who knows how long ago. How the hell is that going to solve anything? If you had a problem with me then, then tell me then, not 3 weeks later when I am telling you I am mad at you for doing something, it just sounds like you are making it up.
Anywho...what the fight was was we were watching a movie and every time I opened my mouth to say something he would shut me up. But he didn't seem to have any problem speaking his mind about what is and is not believeable in the movie.
Earlier in the night I was working on my research paper and he kept coming in wanting me to pay attention to him. I told him I would the second I finish that paragraph.
So after the movie he gets on his computer and I come sit next to him on the futon. Thats when he decides to not give me the time of day and tells me to leave because he does not want to be bothered.
I let the movie thing slide, and I let it slide with bothering me every 30 minutes to pay attention to him, but I wasn't going to let him sit there and dictate to me when attention will be paid to whom when he wills it so. So to make a long story short he keeps throwing logs on the fire and escalating the situation and it ends in him telling me what I want to hear, but not meaning a word of it.
You picked the right name for this thread. What if he got hit by a car and the last thing you guys were talking about was this stupid fight. Go give him a big kiss he can't avoid. If it becomes a recurring problem. Then start worrying about it. You could be alone.
sounds like you two have issues that needed to be worked out before. However, it seems the bigger issue is that hubby doesn't like you get a higher education. When my wife needed to take some courses for work I tried my hardest to make sure she had the time. It didn't always work because the little guy(not that little guy) wanted his mommy. Hubby needs to step up and and accept the fact that you are working on your education. I take it you two don't have kids?
Um...no we do not have kids yet...but I don't understand what you mean. What does education have to do with it? If you are talking about what he was saying about the movie, he was just doing that because he loves to talk about he knows about. Read my thread called "My Husband is a Text Book," you will understand what I mean. He doesn't think I am stupid, he just loves to talk.
What I was refering to is that some people are very selfish and cannot share time. Your husband has to share time with your studies. Some people are very jealous of this fact. It is not about his level of intelligence, ity's about his possible insecurities that you may become smarter than he is. He talks during the movies to show how intelligent he thinks he is. Do most people talk during moves? Yea. Normally it is a quip not a disertation. He may feel that if you are watching a movie he has a chance to prove how smart he is. I may be wrong, But I don't think so.
Out of curiousity, what level of education do you and your husband have.
Well, we are both in college at a university, I am a senior in college and so is he. I might stay on another year and take some classes in another feild, he needs to stay longer because he wants to be a Microbiologist and that requires more school. He is text book smart, he knows how everything works and why. I know things like who people are and the arts and opinions and things of that nature. It's not that he doesn't know his stuff and I don't know what he is talking about because I do. It's the fact that he just loves to talk about what he knows.
kitkat_bar,
I can relate to some of what is going on here. However, I'm not sure our situations are the same. My husband is a narcissist. It's always him, him, him. So, if I bring up something that bothers me about him, immediately it's what about what I did to him.
I am not trying to be sexist or anything here and guys, please don't take offense, but some men still are little boys when it comes to attention. They want it when they want it, and if you don't give it at that time, they take it as rejection. And, of course, we know this is not the case (in most cases).
I know how hard it is to deal with something like this. But, Amigo is right about one thing, don't let it become a war. I try hard to remember this, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff." I don't know if that helps but I sure do know how frustrating it can be! You are not alone girl!
It's obviously too hot in your house. That would make anyone testy! Tell your husband to stop putting all those logs on the fire. Open a window.
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