May/December marriages.....

Kim--

A very provocative post.

Welcome to A2K.

Kim...Welcome to A2K.

You made me think of my sister...there was a 20 year age difference in her and her second husband. It went south....due more to my sisters indisgressions and bad habits than her husbands, whom I adored.

It is something to think about beforehand....and many don't.

I'm sorry that your having to ponder such things now.

Well you seam rather devoted to your distaste for this marriage, still i'll put my idealistic non-married thoughts down. Marriage to me is an oath to love not an expectation. An oath to love this person for who they have been who they are and who they will be. The ultimate nonultimatum that what ever my expectations have been are nothing and will be you. Yeah you were young and fool hardy, but who isn't when they are in love? Yeah not haveing these things in common is a difficulty but love is all encompassing, perhaps your uncommonities should instead become something you have in common, embrace your differences and love that he was raised in a generation different then yours, instead of something to relate to you have something to learn, something to imagine, something to experience.

Thanks for the welcome to the first two posters.

To the third one, I only made this post in hopes that maybe one, just one person, would rethink before entering a relationship with a large age gap. I may be able to start over, but the years lost to this relationship will never be regained. So my hope is to pay it forward , and maybe someone will learn from my mistake.

It doesn't appear you are asking anyone to rethink this, it has the flavor of bitterness of someone who feels they have wasted their youth, and assume everyone will end up in your situation.

My first husband was 16 years older than me, we divorced, but it had nothing to do with the age difference.

I am 46, my husband just turned 59, but in terms of tastes in entertainment, books, and many personal beliefs, we are more like 50 years apart.

I cannot think of two people in this world who have a happier marriage then we do. It's been a very happy 13 years.

IMO, your marriage ended because you married too young, before you knew who you were.
By the time you learned who you were, you realized this was not the person you would have chosen.

YOU were the one who went through a more drastic change, not him

I note you say you matured and saw you had nothing in common.
He had already matured years before.

The opinions of people like you kept my darling and I apart for 5 years, until I wised up and realized I was the one wanting to spend my life with this man, not the nay sayers who couldn't see us together.

See, even at 30ish, I still had a little growing up to do.

Soooooo, KimMadrox, sorry you went through a bad marriage, and that the reason for your breakup was the age difference.

I however, instead of hoping that "one, just one" person gets saved by not wedding the person you love due to your, a complete strangers experience, rather hope that "one, just one" person has the guts to say, "this is the man I love"

Noddy, is that what you meant by "provocative" :wink:

Chai Tea--

Provocative? Pro-active?

Either way, no one would call you wishy-washy.

Glad I got married in June instead of May or December. Er...wait, I think I missed something here.