Can love be truly blind

"love is blind" does not so much refer to looks as it does to overlooking other obvious incompatabilities. It could be likened to "love is not rational." Most people will tell you that a physical attraction is one of the requisities of any relationship, although different people may find very different things attractive..so your situation is of course possible..

If love can overcome incompatibilities between two people, could it overcome something as drastic as two people who look completely opposite for eachother when put in the mix with other compatibility issues?

I suppose it depends on how superficial you are.

Love doesn't have to be blind since beauty is only skin deep (let me see if there any other cliches I can come up with :wink: )

If two people are attracted to each other, then it doesn't matter what they look like. The first thing you notice about someone is how they look, the next thing you might notice is how they carry themselves, eventually you get to notice who they really are, unless one of the parties is too shallow to see past appearances.

ah, thought of another one,

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

Ok, trying to put some perspective on it. Isn't this what 'Beauty and the Beast' was all about? Of course two people can fall in love and exist together in the world we live in without makeing appearance a concern (to use your words).

What does it matter what these two lovers looked like 60 years ago?



The more I think of it, the more disgusted I am that someone could even ask this question.

God forbid we have an accident, or become ill, or get a wrinkle or a pimple.

You know, years ago they did a television version of beauty and the beast. I forget who the beauty was, but George C. Scott played the beast, with all the makeup and such, but you could still see it was Scott.

At the end, when the beast was transformed, he did not turn into some young hunk.

He turned into George C. Scott.

It was so beautiful.

Yeah, it really doesn't matter.

Last night on the news there was a couple celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary!!! That's right; 75 years together!!
I think they deserve a holiday named after them or something. It was so beautiful.
When asked how they have stayed together all these years, the hubby said "She's an easy person to live with"


Oh lord, I'm gonna cry!

I appreciate the thoughts and i agree with them all, but the devils advocate, even though it is something both people can deal with, can you say it won't cause any problems? If it's something which can be forgotten by both in the home, what about when going into the outside world, what about when opinionated people feel it's their job to make a statement (lord knows theres many of those). What about going out to dinner or a movie. The world is full of people who jump at the chance to attack weakness, how well can a relationship hold up to encountering this every time the public is involved.

I'm sorry if this is obvious to everyone else, or seen as beside the point, but are you actually asking about your relationship here? If so, why don't you just come right out and say what it is you think is going to come between you?

So far all I get from your posts is that this couple, whoever they may be, are personality-wise compatible and the girl is beautiful, but they are "completely opposite in looks" and you wonder if love can overcome this. What does completely opposite in looks mean? And if you're saying that the guy is not as beautiful as the girl, do you really think when they go out in public people are going to comment? Like, tell your girlfriend she's too good for you or something? I just find this whole situation extremely vague and puzzling...

Okay dude, I just read your other thread about your old love vs. your new love, and I see that I was correct to assume that the third person thing was just your Bob Dole-ish way of telling the story (just teasing ), and it was really about you. I also see that the appearance concern is what it sounded like-- you're talking about more than just feeling like you're a bit on the homely side, eh? I mean, you mentioned a degenerative condition to do with your appearance, which no one can tell the eventual extent of.

So it boils down to, you are concerned that the girl won't be able to truly get past it, or else other people's opinions will get in the way.

#1. There are definitely people who can love each other despite terrible disfigurements and other huge problems. You can certainly find a woman who will be able to love you despite any physical problems.
#2. People are most likely not going to comment. Who would? And if your girlfriend loves you, she's going to be pissed if anybody does comment.

In my own experience just recently, I waited on an older couple, probably in their mid 60's, and the woman had an extensive disfigurement of her lip that left part of the bone showing. It was shocking, but I can't imagine anyone commenting on it. Her husband also clearly loved her, showed his affection for her, and my feeling was that he probably hardly thought about it anymore.

yeah it is vague and puzzleing, the thing is we really don't know much about eachother, we just know a general idea of eachother. My appearance has been a major concern and i've come across people that aren't that nice, it does have alot to do with how i look at the world. I think the idea i have isn't about appearance but how appearance has effected the person inside, it's built unconfidence into me and has taken over my life. I'm just affraid of not being able to be a person again and bringing someone into the relationship with someone who isn't there.

thanks for the advice. I still don't know if trying to involve someone so high end would be a good idea, no matter how much the love might exist, is it really right of me to ask someone to love me when i'm not even certain if i can hold up my end? I'm not an outgoing person, i don't go to the club or go to parties or even go out to diner all that much, i've made that clear and i know that i'm not overly set in my ways but i still don't know what to think. I know i'm capable of being a great person, i was before and i've had plenty of time to reflect on what i did wrong in the past. At the same time i've had alot of **** happen in the last few years and i really don't how i could interact with someone like this, i'm haveing a tough time dealing with many things right now and leaving the situation i'm in would solve so much. A relationship brings problems of it's own and it will have alot to do with how i deal with it, whether it will be better or worse wouldn't matter to me, i'd have someone to love, the question is if or when i should involve someone else in my world.