adding spice to a long term realtionship+getting in the mood

tina969 - I remember reading, a long time ago, that heightened passion lasts for about three years. According to the writer, the biological reason for this is to ensure a pregnancy.

I cannot attest to the veracity of this claim, although it does make sense to me. After you have been with a person for a few years, things settle into a routine, and the newness of the relationship has waned.

In the early phases of your relationship, what did you and your partner do that was sexually exciting? Have you settled into a predictable routine? Change the way, where and how you appproach romance. Be spontaneous.

What sort of things inspire romance in you? Did the two of you have a romantic spot, a hotel, a city, a place that has great memories for the both of you? Return to that place, and see if that does not help. Are there certain smells, sounds, colors that turn you on? Include them in your romantic interludes.

Life settles down after awhile, but it soes not mean that is has to be sexually boring. Be adventurous, and good luck!

C_Jane (I think) posted something recently about a particular version of yoga for increasing sex drive. I'll see if I can find it.


Nope, it was piffka here:



http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1620452#1620452

If you haven't already, try some toys. My wife and recently (After being married for twenty years) bought a few things and they really gave our love life a nice boost. The new wore off after a while, but we still get them out once in a while for a change of pace. There's nothing wrong with trying and it may be just what the doctor ordered.

buy some gerbils

put the gerbils in a blender and then---------.

Skipping the oggy step.....




Pour pureed mixture into rubber bag hanging above waist level.....

For a serious answer... Try changing a few things. Try a different location. I saw that someone suggested toys--good one. Try body paints. Try eating food off of each other (chocolate, strawberries, stew juice... whatever you like). Try doing activities that you both might like (dancing, clubbing, etc) and do them together. Take separate vacations (the heart grows fonder when you're not together).

Here's a fun one: If you go to bars, then this is for you. Walk in separately. The one who goes in first, sits at the bar with a drink. Then, the other comes in, spots the first from the other side of the room. You could try flirting over the crowd OR the second to come in approaches their partner at the bar. And, tries to "pick them up" as if the two of them have never met.

I hope this helps.

Three years isn't a long time. What has happened that has caused this change? New job? New move? Baby? Death in the family? It sounds like stress has caused your lack of drive. Either that or you are in a dip. We peak and dip all the time in our sexual appetite and it's normal. Is it that you don't find your partner desirable or that you just don't feel like physically exerting youself for sex?