is love enough?

"Is love enough?"

I personally don't believe love is enough. You also need the following:

1.To know each other, what you want from each other, and from the world (society).

2.To communicate with each other, and respect each other.

3.To Trust each other, and support each other.

4.Once you know each other, and what you both want, then to work hard together to acquire those things.

I also believe that once you loose respect, and trust, your in real trouble.

If you have those things your love will be stronger.

Nick, you've been through hell lately. First, I just want to say, my heart goes out to you and I know others here feel the same. Please continue to post here, because you can make some connections with really good and caring people here who will gladly let you talk out your feelings.

Next, the first thing that strikes me about your post is that your wife made that comment about you needing to "be a man." Yuck. I want you to know that, much as I hope that your marriage can be saved, if it doesn't work out, you need to remind yourself that there are many women who will value you for your sensitivity. Don't work on developing that "manly" thing of not showing feelings, it's not good. If you can show vulnerability to your wife, you're better off than many guys-- I speak as the girlfriend of a man who has been sucked into the societal role of not showing his feelings because that's not manly, and I can't tell you how often it hurts our relationship.

Also, I think you're right to feel that your wife should be going above and beyoond at this point. I read through the other thread on this, and look at all the times she continued to contact these guys, even after you found out. She really does have a lot to make up for here. If she can't go the extra mile after all of the hurt she's given you, I don;t see how you can stay with her.

There is also the matter of being home together 24/7. Yes, she still should get to have some alone time-- but it was right for her to quit her job to show that she was serious-- and also she's shown that she can't be trusted very far. So she should be willing to have her alone time be somewhat restricted for a while, shouldn't she? How many times did she continue to email and call guys from payphones, etc? You have reason to not trust her too much, and I hope she understands that though she feels smothered by all the time together, she needs to be putting herself second here for a while.

Good luck nick, and stay in touch.

Nick, just read all your posts about your marriage,
so sorry for all the pain.

I don't think "being home together 24/7" is a good way to solve the problems.


Wish you can be frank to your heart:"Do you still trust this relationship"?
I always believe trust is one basic thing of marriage,
If you lost it, your marriage will become harder..

good luck!