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Tue 4 Oct, 2005 10:25 pm
My wife and I have been married for 13 yrs and been together for 19. We are both 37 yrs old. When we first got together sex was more than great. We had sex 2-3 times a day 5-6 days a week, this lasted for about 10 yrs. 5 years ago we had a little boy. Since then sex has almost stopped. We have sex maybe 5 times a year. We have many fights about sex. When I mention that its been a couple of months,she gets very nasty with me for a couple of days and then she mellows out but still nothing. I have asked her if she is ever in the mood and she says yes, but would rather due without. She gets P.O. if I touch her and doesnt even want to kiss or hold hands. Everthing seems fine as long as I dont mention I want laid. When we do have sex she tells me if I want sex come get now and it is straight sex no forplay. She likes to be as they say road hard and put away wet from start to finish, and then gets angry when I am done in 2-3 minutes. I then get the cold treatment and she tells me that she has never gotten off from straight sex with me and I shoot to soon and I have no self control. In the beginning we had lots of forplay and she always got off when I gave her oral, but she wont let me do it now. Is this an age thing? I know some women at this age go through something. Is her sex drive gone? Should I be more patiant? I am frustrated. I love her and believe sex is a good part of a marriage and would like to have sex or something atleast once every 2-3 weeks. any advice helpfull
I was going to suggest some romance, but I see you already have plenty of that, so I can't help, I'm afraid.
At first I thought this might be normal post-child, peri-menopause hormone decline, but when I read the post again I think more is going on here. She claims to have times of desire, but would "rather die" than give in to it. What's up with that? That is a real clue.
I think the question is does your wife want to fix this problem? Is this her way of saying she is just totally unhappy in the marriage and really wants out? Women want to be touched by men they love. Women withhold affection when they feel trapped. I think you need to see a professional. If it's just sex drive your wife's GYNO can probably make suggestions. However, I think there is more to your wife's side of the difficulty than she is telling you. You really should see a marriage counselor if you and your wife want to save your marriage.
Green Witch wrote:At first I thought this might be normal post-child, peri-menopause hormone decline, but when I read the post again I think more is going on here. She claims to have times of desire, but would "rather die" than give in to it. What's up with that? That is a real clue.
I think the question is does your wife want to fix this problem? Is this her way of saying she is just totally unhappy in the marriage and really wants out? Women want to be touched by men they love. Women withhold affection when they feel trapped. I think you need to see a professional. If it's just sex drive your wife's GYNO can probably make suggestions. However, I think there is more to your wife's side of the difficulty than she is telling you. You really should see a marriage counselor if you and your wife want to save your marriage.
She has been tested by the family doctor for chemical imbalance after months of nagging at her. Test came back normal. Her family has this condition. She refuses to ask her gyno. We both went to phsycologist. I went to a woman and she went to a man. I was not aloud to attend her sessions nor ask her questions about the sessions. I welcomed her to mine and after 2 sessions she refused to go to mine saying she was a quack only because my phsycologist was telling her everything opposit of what hers was telling her. Example: she told her it was normal to sometimes have a quicky while he is really ocupied like playing in the tub at bath time. My wife got P.O. When she was asked why I should stay in our marriage her reply was Because he loves me. I do but it seems to be fading.
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