WASHINGTON (AP) -- In a surprise development, President Bush today announced the selection of a nominee to replace Harriet Miers, who recently withdrew her nomination for the supreme court bench. In making his announcement to the press, Bush stressed his nominee's loyalty and willingness to serve. "I can honestly say that I have known and admired him all his life, and he has been a true friend," said the president. "I have looked in his heart, and his heart is good -- no worms or anything." Asked about the nominee's apparent lack of judicial experience, Bush replied: "I know that he will not be an activist judge who goes 'off his leash,' but rather that he is committed to a judiciary that will 'sit!' and 'stay!' within the confines of the constitution."
Attempts to contact the nominee have, so far, been met with a noncommital "arf!"
Supreme Court nominee Barney after meeting with Bush
"You're doing a heckuva job, Barney!