RACISM

Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you."

My father's split second irrational decision has caused me so much pain and grief in this country

Jamesw84: I'm new to this thread,so please forgive me if I repeat things others have already said. Your ancestral culture has given the world many great people and things. For that you can be proud. Your parents sound like they love you and your brothers and sisters deeply to have uprooted their own lives to try for a better one in Australia.
It's a sad fact of life that there are always people who are hateful towards others who are different.
All you can do for yourself is be the best person you can be, be of good moral character,and never treat others as badly as you have been treated.
I agree with whomever stated you would really profit from counseling services on a regular basis.
Your university may be able to offer low-cost help.
Speaking as someone who has training in social work and counseling,you really and truly sound as though you have been traumatized in your life,and may be somewhat clinically depressed.
As far as your question about our own judgements and prejudices is concerned,I'm sure we all judge others,but I would hope it is by their character,and behavior,not by their race,etc.

Amen to what everyone said about therapists. I had, in the past, always said that people who go to therapy without having experienced "major" tramua (rape etc) were self indulgent and, well, wankey!

But then, after my son was born, I suffered from severe post natal depression and anxiety disorders. I was having hallucinations, would not take him out in public because I was terrified someone would shoot him. I would not let anyone hold him, because I was convinced they would take him away.


I sought professional help. I found a therapist, who helped me unlock alot of past issues and work through them...It was not until I sat down and read through a list of what "qualifies" as major trauma that I realised I had a lot of boxes to tick!

Therapy is for anyone, any time. If you feel negatively about things, then go.As I said before, you have a right to be happy and at peace.

What is the point of telling you this? My grandma had an analogy, which she used often (have used God here because she did...feel free to insert spiritual term of choice)

"Sometimes, when God wants your attention, he drops a pebble on your head. If you brush it off, he drops a rock. Ignore that, he drops a boulder. Don't wait for the piano to hit you sweetheart."

Maybe your experiences have clouded your life and judgements. Seek help now, don't let your anger and resentment boil up inside you. You are still young enough to turn early negative experiences to positives

Yes it does.

Although whether it does or not is actually unimportant in practical terms.


As it happens, I am a therapist specializing in the treatment of traumatized children.


What you have described here as being your experiences in school would fit the criteria for chronic circumstances that cause trauma over time.

Anyhoo, it matters not to quibble over definition.

You describe experiences that have negatively affected your views about yourself, and seem to be causing you major problems.


In my view, a good therapist could help you, over time, to have your experiences have a less negative effect on your life.


But it is entirely up to you whether you decide to take any notice of what I think.

You might also benefit by reading a good book on cognitive behavioural therapy, which would assist you to challenge the beliefs you have taken on board which are not helpful to you, or having contact with others who have overcome the effects of similar experiences.


Here, the Migrant Welfare service would be able to help you access any of these. I imagine there is a similar service in Sydney?

Again, it is entirely up to you.

Should I be seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? I dont know the real difference between the two. Anyways this therapy costs a lot of money which I dont have at the moment so I will definitely have to put it off for a while until I graduate. I would never tell my parents about these problems because they will think I am beyond hope and they would never understand my problems anyways, so I cant ask them for the money.

What book titles would you recommend for my situation?

Jamesw84 wrote:

Should I be seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? I dont know the real difference between the two. Anyways this therapy costs a lot of money which I dont have at the moment so I will definitely have to put it off for a while until I graduate. I would never tell my parents about these problems because they will think I am beyond hope and they would never understand my problems anyways, so I cant ask them for the money.

What book titles would you recommend for my situation?

Aargh, I am not great on self help books.


Perhaps open a thread on health and get some suggestions? I will comment on any you get recommended (I can check them on Amazon) since many of them are purest crap. Look, in your case, for cognitive behavioural ones, I think...or sample some of these.

jamesw84: Please realize you have been traumatized over long periods of your life. You have a great deal of anger and can't get rid of it without counseling.
As to whom you should see,either a psychologist or a psychiatrist will do. They are both trained to guide you to find the answers and the peace you need. Maybe your university has low-cost services.If not then check in the yellow pages of your phone book for counselors. Local medical schools have such departments with qualified professors who are trained in these fields. Tell whomever you speak with that you are a student and can't pay much. Don't let money be an excuse for not getting help.
Peace:)