Does seeing a newborn cause a desire to have a/nother baby?

I'm not sure if sozlet would have ever appeared if I hadn't spent a week taking care of my newborn niece. (Her mom had major surgery and couldn't take care of her.) I bonded, and it was horrible leaving her, and after that I just had to have one of my own (after a lot of hemming and hawing before that, E.G. and I were together for 8 years before sozlet was born).

Oh, geez, I guess that means I have to find a newborn to help me decide the "have another?" question...

yes.

even now, that bean is still considered a " baby".
I see itty bitty new people and just swoon..
their smell, their weak cries..
>sigh<

I'm past the age of having babies, but when I hold a newborn, it does bring on that warm maternal feeling all over again.

I see all my friends with their kids and a part of me wants one badly... and when I hold my godson that makes me want one too... but I am only 20... half of my friends shouldn't even have kids, but almost all do and I see them struggle... so as much as I want one right now... I want to be older and ready... but just last year was when my maternal instinct kicked into high gear and I started wanting a family.... It's scary.... this is how old my mom was when she was preggo with me!!

My youngest is about to turn 3 too - so she claims - is no longer a baby. She does still have the chubby cheeks and little pot belly which I love. But that new born look is just so hard to resist. Ah - I got to think logically - I've got to think logically.

Look at the Baby Dust floating around!

I'm treading on dangerous ground here, but I guess someone needs to take the other side.

I've never been pregnant at all, and can honestly say I have never spent one second of my life wanting a child.

I've held many babies, but there was never any longing, needing or even thinking about it....

I was just holding another persons child.

My neighbor 2 doors down has a little girl, 18 months old right now, cute as a bug, I've been around her since she was a bump on her mothers stomach.

Every time she sees me, she blows me a kiss, even if she's 4 houses away. Her mom says she only does that for 2 or 3 people besides mom and dad, so she must really like me.

I really like her too!

Does that make me want a child?

No.

Fortunatley I'm just past my mid-forties, so I no longer have to hear people try to convince me that contrary to what I know is best for me, I am unfullfilled as a person.

I would be VERY unhappy if I had a child.

I wish more women were as honest as that.
Too many times I hear women talk about having babies like it is their job and that they wouldnt be 'complete' if they didnt have a child..
I think it is sad really..

I don't understand why you are treading on dangerous ground, Chai Tea. I have children and I believe it is perfectly alright to not have children, if that is what you want. Having children is an incredible experience, but for some it just isn't what they want. It has nothing to be fulfilled as a person. In my opinion, you are a better parent if you are fulfilled as a person before you have a child.

There is a biological component to Baby-Craving.

When I was well past 60 I was trapped on an airplane with a very unhappy tiny baby and by the time we landed, I'd started to lactate.

This had happened before, but in my fertile years.

I think of women my age who are raising grandchildren from birth onward and I marvel at their dedication.

Oh, I just said that because prior to my post, it looked like everyone was going to start lactating soon.

I didn't want to cause anyone to swoon :wink:





Actually - my observations as an impartial 3rd party.....

WAY more than 75% of casual conversations I have with mothers involve:

Her saying how tired she was because of all the stuff she had to do. Regardless of the kids age.

Telling about behavior problems.

The high cost of having a child, let alone trying to save for college, etc.

Problems at school

problems with spouse because of children

How they can never get a moment to themselves.

oh, and a bunch of other like stuff.

The underlying theme under it all is "Oh, but I don't know what I would do without them"

I guess they would have a happier husband, more money, private time, etc.

Then, I see the mother that smacks her child around, yells at them and I think "wow, all those people who I can't even remember their names through the years that told me I don't know what I'm missing. How do they know I wouldn't be THAT kind of mother"

What if I had been that kind of mother, because they convinced me that I was missing something?

Anyone who tries to convince someone of something as important as having a child, needs to make themselves available to adopt that child when a mother realizes that no, this was not a good idea.

In my case seeing babies just reassures how much I don't want kids.

Exactly Chai - that is why I agree so much with you. Raising a child is an incredible amount of work and everything that you say is true (at least to some extent) about the difficulties of having a child. I am a patient person, but sometimes I loose it with my children. I cannot imagine how an inpatient person could handle a child.

It is at the same time, the most difficult and most rewarding job in the world. It really is strange how you can be so irate at the little creature at the same time just feel an undying love and devotion.

Chai, Linkat--

Your comments made me wonder about the problems of breeding endangered species in zoos.

Suppose the animal kingdom has as many female not suited for motherhood as the human race does?

The inept mothers who drop their babies, or roll over on them or forget about them in a corner of the cage are also acting naturally.

You know Noddy, I have thought about that.

It seems some species have an even lower maternal instinct than human females as a whole.

Take Panda Bears.....The females seem to have very little interest in that little critter.

Makes you wonder how they have lasted so long without going extinct.
It seems every time a panda bear even manages to get pregnant and give birth in a zoo, humans have to step in and take over.

I wonder if a maternal instinct is hereditary, in your genes, or if it was how you were raised, or if it's hormonal, or phychological.
I wonder if there's studies on this out there? I will google.

I don't think hormonal, since I clearly remember being a little girl and being given gifts of dolls by friends of the family and wondering "What am I supposed to do with THIS? To me, it was just a piece of plastic.
I recall sitting there just one time just trying to play with a doll the way I'd seen other girls on TV do it, and was completely bored, I think I lasted about 90 seconds.

As I've said before, I had a very stressful childhood, and many times wondered why my mother had any children at all (she had 5), since I don't have much memory of her acting particularly glad to have us around. To this day I have the same question.
I don't think she was "pushed" into motherhood, as she knew how NOT to make babies. The closest I can get is that if a pregnancy happened, it wasn't given much thought one way or another.

When in grade school, other girls would talk about having babies, I wouldn't know what to say, I just sat there thinking "I a kid myself, why are we talking about having babies"? It really confused me.

I don't know, what do you think?

Very interesting.

I never liked dolls much--but I learned to say, "Thank you," for generic little-girl gifts and then ignore them.

Holding babies doesn't make me want to have another child.

Quite frankly..the two I have are a big plenty.

I would take more children, if they were given to me, or they come from a second marriage.

I like babies, they are cute
I like babies, cause I can give them back to their mommies
I like babies, cause they smell good
But most importantly, I can give them back to their mommies
I like babies, cause the make noises and aren't embarrassed by them
And I can still give them back to their mommies

The strange thing with me is that I actually never cared for infants. I love young children, but infants were always boring, scary to hold and seemed to fragile. I wanted to interact and infants just lay there. Babies were also ugly - squished up faces, most with little or no hair - they look a little bit like aliens.

I was a little frightened when I was going to have a baby - would I be afraid to hold the baby - I was never one that wanted to hold babies. But from the first I had no difficulty holding my own. I was never frightened that I would drop her and was simply delighted and loved the little creature. I was lucky - I feel I bonded instantly.

I still don't like holding other people's infants, but I do now see the beauty in these little creatures.

When I went out on my double date saturday night, the couple that came with us brought their 8 month old daughter... and she was the happiest baby ever.. right there my maternal instinct kicked in and I got all girly inside and I was like AWWWWWW