39 married and want to be onmy own

No. You shouldn't keep your mouth shut. But neither should you expect that everything will work out for the best if you don't keep quiet. You may lose your kids. You may miss your husband. Many of us realize too late what we've given up. I suggest counceling first, to detemine if there is any chance of saving this marriage. Divorce, IMO, should be reserved for only extreme cases.

I wonder what people say who have been married and live in seperate places? It seems that living together when married always causes some problems, maybe living seperately could be some new-age alternative

Stay or go?
I have tryed counceling and that was eye opening. I have discovered that he is not capable of giving me what I need. He trys but I still feel no attraction to him. I want to be sexually active but I am not attracted to him at all. He is very stubborn as well when it comes to our issues. So I end up doing all the changing and he stays the same. This had been going on for the last 11 years. We have been married for 17 years. So I have been working on fixing myself. but now feel its not me because the only thing left for me to change is how where I stant on our issues. Then I have given up on all my dreams if I do that.

butterfly,


I feel the same way although I've only been married four years. Try talking to your husband about it. Of course, when my wife and I talk about a similair topic, we end up fighting.

talk to spouse
Dear Sarge:

I have spoken to him but he dosn't seem to get the message. He thinks that we are trying to work it out still or something. I love him and don't want to hurt him but I am not "In Love" with him. I want another relationship he does not. He wants me all the time. But I cannot stand the thought of being with him as a wife. I could stay with him but then I could not have another man in my life. and I won't cheat. that is for loosers.