Phrases Which Have Never Before Been Spoken or Written

On the job: I love this Job--I don't care if they ever give me a paycheck!
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Damn, why do the TV commercials keep interrupting my movie?

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News headline: American Gasoline Prices Drop to 25 Cents a Gallon

Where's my piece of vagina cake?

Oh, wait, I say that all the time.

Famous Quotes: The one thing I hate more than anything else, is seeing completely naked girls running around my apartment ~Kickycan

Words I will never say: "No, no. That's way too generous of you."

"Hand me that rifle, soldier. I got us into this mess, it's up to me to get us out." --GWB