Lord Ellpus wrote:Thanks for that poem, Walter. You see, the problem with Scottish poets IMO, is that they lack the passion and romance that naturally runs through the veins of an Anglo Saxon. If you re-read my naive first efforts, you will see that there is a basic sexual magnetism contained therein, that just needs a bit of honing.
Hell, I'd even thaught 'my' poem would be censored here due to its sexism.
<And 'yes', Steve, I take every poem seriously:
Oh! To have a poet's mind -
That glides and flexes through the rhymes
where gentle words can say so much -
Like rainbows on my hairbrush >
rainbows on your hairbrush
What the one we gave you?
mega lol
I have taken away those fine words from Ms East, jiggled them about a bit to add the old romanticism, and have managed to produce a really tender and loving piece, called.....
MELLOW AUTUMN (dedicated to Agnes Pumpholder...she'll know why)
In these mellow days of autumn
The colours of the fire
Cause shadows on my trouser bulge
Exposing my desire
I've bonked you by a fireplace
And in a cottage kitchen
and up against a drystone wall
Which set my knees a twitchin'
That shock of hair a tumbling
Your red lips slightly parted
I got myself so damn worked up
I went before I started.
Steve (as 41oo) wrote:oh dear (wipes eyes)
"Love poem number three. The bird of love ( to be used in the garden, on a hot, sultry day)
If I were a hawk, and you were not so blubbery
I'd hover overhead, and jump you in the shrubbery. "
that really is quite funny Lorde
What is this? Inspiration from ashes win?
That was my favorite too.
Lord Ellpus wrote:I have taken away those fine words from Ms East, jiggled them about a bit to add the old romanticism, and have managed to produce a really tender and loving piece, called.....
MELLOW AUTUMN (dedicated to Agnes Pumpholder...she'll know why)
In these mellow days of autumn
The colours of the fire
Cause shadows on my trouser bulge
Exposing my desire
I've bonked you by a fireplace
And in a cottage kitchen
and up against a drystone wall
Which set my knees a twitchin'
That shock of hair a tumbling
Your red lips slightly parted
I got myself so damn worked up
I went before I started.
Hahahaha*straitens up*Hahahaha*controls herself, and speaks*
No wonder your are so furstrated, and don't get any!!! What woman in her right mind Hahahahaha*clears throat*would want that scribble you call poetry!!!
Well at least my abstract words inspired you
:wink:
Ellpus needs help with love poems
M' Lord;
As quickly as possible,save the first two rhymes,and burn anything else
that comments about any real or imagined weight issues had by your good lady wife.
As far as future efforts go,please confine yourself to writing love
prose.Write your thoughts and feelings in sentence form,and you're less
likely to wind up in the hospital,and Lady E won't have to be charged with
GBH !!!
lindatw
Re: Ellpus needs help with love poems
lindatw wrote:M' Lord;
As quickly as possible,save the first two rhymes,and burn anything else
that comments about any real or imagined weight issues had by your good lady wife.
As far as future efforts go,please confine yourself to writing love
prose.Write your thoughts and feelings in sentence form,and you're less
likely to wind up in the hospital,and Lady E won't have to be charged with
GBH !!!
lindatw
Do you really think so? Burn the rest? I'm not sure about that, as they tend to get me jolly well hot under the collar, every time I re-read them.
Mind you, as I said before, I'm not exactly cultural, so I am willing to listen to experts.
I think I may keep the shrubbery one though, as it might lead to a spot of outdoor rumpy, the weather being good at the mo.
Lord Ellpus needs help writing love poems
Lordy,Lord E :
Rumpy-pumpy in the bushes? Hmmmmm.....
Interesting concept. Be careful you don't land in a hidden bed of nettles
or poison ivy !!! {lol} A sure way to get female blood well-heated is to
play the right music as a prelude,or an accompaniment.
Who knows,maybe,if you had tried this on your holidays,you could
have saved yourself the cost of that massage!
lindatw
Slappy would say: "Just give her Rohyponol and you
can get what you want".
Lord Ellpus wrote:If you re-read my naive first efforts, you will see that there is a basic sexual magnetism contained therein, that just needs a bit of honing.
Keep at it, Lordy. If you send those first efforts to Lady E, I'm afraid she'll hone you indeed.
Eva wrote:Lord Ellpus wrote:If you re-read my naive first efforts, you will see that there is a basic sexual magnetism contained therein, that just needs a bit of honing.
Keep at it, Lordy. If you send those first efforts to Lady E, I'm afraid she'll hone you indeed.
Thank you Eva, and all of you who have so kindly posted your ideas and advice so far.
I must say that it all seems awfully encouraging, and I am slowly gaining confidence in the whole thing.
It is an indication that I am definitely on the right track and, with a bit of tweaking, I should be able to produce something remarkable.
I shall now go back to my creative chair, and think...........
lord e was in creative chair
the maidens all ran here and there
when sudden out of inspiration
came a jolt like perspiration,
but different.
Phase one poem no. 1 by LordE
Your beauty is timeless, your grace is divine
I'm awfully grateful you chose to be mine.
number two. -
In the light of the fire, you look twenty one
You still give a twitch to my elephant gun.
I believed you've missed the boat here, Lord L.
You could combine the two pellets of thought thusly:
Your beauty is light, your fire scares Grace -
and elephants just twitch to run in your place.
Choosing is timeless, that gun is mine;
twenty one salutes, they call that divine.
WOW! That is GREAT, Osso!
Whaddya know. Ellpus is a fine writer indeed. He simply needed an editor!
Ellpus,
Avoid the word magenta at all costs.
Trust me on this.
Also tubby.
And varicose.
Lord Ellpus needs help with love poems
Ellpus : "Mellow Autumn" was a real hoot,but nowhere near the type of thing that will make her ladyship's heart go pitty-pat.
While you are sharpening your writing ability,a greeting card on which you've written the following song lyric:"For you are beautiful,and I have loved you dearly,more dearly than the spoken word can tell",will do wonders for her libido !
lindatw
Besmitten by your amplitude,
And longing to do something rude,
I come, sweet love, with verse, though crude,
In hopes 't'inspire some joyful, lewd
And sportive am'rous play in thee!
Your gen'rous, fruitful, glorious, curves
Inspire and thrill Priapic nerves,
Refresh and fill the springs of lerve,
As rapt, transfixed, on thee I perve,
And long to taste thy sweets, ah me!
