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Tue 13 Sep, 2005 12:12 am
ok well my girlfriend and i have been in a relation ship for 11 months and 8 days, LOL i'm the one keeping track. anyways we have had some problems and we have dealt with them. As a result my trust has been broken(Long Story) Now recently i have been having second thoughts or Feelings what ever it is it doesn't feel the same. I know i still have feelings for her and am attracted to her vary much. I have told her about these feelings because i thought she had a right to know. She told me and i quot
"I Love you vary much and i don't ever want to leave you,your the man i want to spend my life with.i don't want to force you into anything your un comfertabel with.So if you feel like you want to break up i'm willing."
I am confused over this i'm glad that she is showing me respect but it also seems like she does not find me worth fighting for. Its like a back handed complement, i don't know what to think. I have been un trusting with her ever since our problem witch involved her and another guy this is the main part of the (Long Story) i feel as if i'm just the best deal right now and if i don't work out she has a back up. Yes we are young but that doesn't chang the way we feel. So don't start any of that your to young to be thinking about the rest of your lives BS.
i'm confused about the way i feel right now and then she had to add this i need help with one or the other thanks.
You all seem very young to me, right this minute, and that none of you have a clue about what love actually is.
Love is not possession but growing as a pair over decades.
Possession, the passion of ownership, very invigorating, and many of us have been through it, but all just the beginning of love.
Settle down. Life is long. You really want to live the next forty years with this person?
She could be sincerely trying to show respect for your feelings, be trying to accomodate them, so that you can go on again in the end ...
Or she could be using them as a cop-out for her own doubts; it could be that she's been thinking about leaving herself and is now grateful for the possibility to break off nicely.
It could be one thing, or the total opposite. I'm sorry that it's just not possible, I think, for us to tell one way or another from this big distance.
Basically, she's still leaving you the choice though. If you want to stay with her, you can stay with her, and if she said this because she doesnt really want to fight for you you'll find out soon enough some other way. Now, you dont really know yet.
But most of all you've got to know whether you still want to stay with her or not. Worrying about what she might or might not want or feel can end up being a way to not have to think about what you want.
1-- Your trust has been messed up--I'm guessing she'salready cheated on you--or did something that made you believe she may have....
2-- You tell her that.
3-- She gives you the quote you wrote above.
_______________
Well. Do you want to try to trust her--or do you think she's not worth the effort? Your call.
If you wanted a girl who would beg and cry, you don't have one of those.
Good for her, IMO.
No bad on you, though.
Really your call.
break up
She is telling you fine leave.
Remember to follow you gut feelings they are not wrong. And a person never really changes. They basically stay the same forever. They only change when they deem fit. So I would get out now and find someone else. life is too short.
Being able to trust your SO is one of the most important elements in a relationship.
You may love and respect them, but without the trust, you're going to have one anxiety-filled relationship.
If there is no trust, I'd move on.
Maybe you can still be friends with her, if you are able to do that. Personally, once someone has been a love interest to me, I find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to readjust my feelings back to the "friendship" mode. It's easier and better for me to just move on.
If you can handle it though, you can always remain friends with her.
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