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Thu 22 Aug, 2024 12:57 am
Hey just looking for some input / advice for me (36m) and my gf(35f)
I'll try to make this as short as possible.
We've been together for 7 months, relationship has been very good compared to past relationships for both of us.
But she brought up a little while ago that she catches me checking out women, which has never been brought up to me in past relationships, ever. We got into a pretty nad argument once about it, and semi resolved it and I have been working on not doing it since.
Yesterday though she got weird, shut down, after being fine, loving, affectionate and everything. Skip ahead she said I turned my head to look at someone driving.. which I do not recall a women. Only situation I can think of is when I was looking down a road to see if a cop was still blocking it as we jus detoured and traffic was coming through. I tried to Tall to her about it, but since I said there was no women that I remember. It's pointless as I don't know what she's talking about, and she refused to elaborate on it and walked away.
I tried giving her space today too but jn the end I was rhe bad guy giving her the silent treatment, even though I tried many times to have light conversation with her.. which she stated that I was trying to just move past it without a resolution.
I value our relationship and her, and I have focused very hard to focus solely on her while we are out but I feel from our past argument she doesn't believe me when I speak the truth about not looking at a women.
Sorry for the length any insight or opinion is appreciated on how to approach her as she is very upset and told me to sleep on thr couch which she has never done in our past two arguments. I'm also going to speak to my councilor tomorrow for some insight.
Thanks!
I've seen some videos of women getting incensed if there male friend looks at women. I don't understand it, if the staring is leering or provocative maybe that would irritate you, but if they just notice another woman (for whatever reason) it's pointless to get irritated. What do they think is going to happen, suddenly the man will rush over and say "ignore the troll with me, I'm in love with you"? The jealousy is tiresome. However, I do understand that some men and women are constantly flirting with others, that would irritate me.
@glitterbag,
Agree. Jealously this early on is a red flag, which is great because you can back out. Trust me, it only gets worse. Her insecurities will wind up running and ruining your relationship. It's worse when there's no apparent reason and they can't seem to help themselves. Of course they should see someone to figure out why and how to stop it, but they hardly ever do. For me, it's a deal-breaker.
@Mame,
Sadly, I agree with Mame. Your description of your behavior, if it occurred with a partner who was less insecure, might’ve been either overlooked or worked though.
However, she seems to need some professional support. Your can’t be her therapist and you both need to either move on or a time out while she gets the help. Right now, while you’re together, it sounds like the relationship will continue to go the wrong way. Stop now before it consumes the positivity you two have developed.
The other thing is there is nothing wrong with 'looking', per se - I mean you are human and I'm sure her eyeballs catch the odd guy or two... as long as it isn't disgusting, lecherous or obvious. Seriously, I married a man like that - he would see some guy looking at me and go home, leaving me and our daughter in restaurants, department stores, parties, etc. No cell phones back then so I either had to get a ride home or call him to come and get me, which he did. That went on for 4 years. I finally threatened to drive myself and he stopped doing it but his jealousy/insecurity manifested in other ways. It was a deal-breaker for me. I am monogamous so accusations of this sort really don't sit well with me. It's his reality, and, in your case, hers.
The first look is natural. I mean, come on, taking a quick admiring look at a pretty woman is gonna happen. I've always been told by my wife that it is the second, lingering look that will get me in trouble. I tend to believe that should be the case.
last day I visit swig menu after eating some thing like burger. I want to go at the door I see a very beautiful girl which is very very attractive look. I fall in her love at that time .
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