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Wed 31 Aug, 2005 06:15 pm
I am now in a relationship that wasn't too bad but not my ideal. Recently my ex-boyfriend and I renewed our friendship because we were best friends before. He is now in a long distance relationship and when we got to communicate with each other again, he asked if we can spend time together again to catch up. I have no problem since I trust him. I also told my BF and he consented, saying whatever I wanted, but he isnt too happy of course. What bothers me is that my ex told me he still has my pic on his wall, he most of the time talks about me in the open. And I am a constant inspiration for him. And when I asked him if he loves his GF even enough to marry her, he is not direct in saying the answer, a little hesitant or a pause or slurred answer. I dont know. Probably it is because someone may be there in the room, but I dont think that could be it because his family knows his GF and I personally wont be hesistant in saying the answer whaen there are people around. I am confused becasue I wanted to be freinds with him but if this could get complicated then it would be bad. What do you think? Let us say that he is genuine in saying these things to me, what do these mean?
Welcome to a2k, furuba.
It seems to me that you need to make a choice about which of these two relationships is most important to you. You seem to want both, and I'm not sure it's possible.
I think your ex still has a thing for you, at least from what you've described.
Hi Furuba.
It does sound like the ex still has feelings for you that aren't purely friendship-related.
Our instincts are often right. Trust them. If your gut tells you there is something going on that would make your friendship a complicated mess, listen to it.
It's great that you both still care about each other after breaking-up, and wish to preserve the friendship.
I believe it can be done. I am recently experiencing a situation similiar to yours. However; it is very clear that I am not in love with the ex anymore, and he is not in love with me. So, we are now able to resume the friendship (after space apart to grieve, of course). We are both seeing other people.
If it turns out that your ex does still have those feelings for you; there isn't a lot you can do to change it. You may have to put the friendship on hold a little longer - or simply keep your space. You may even choose to address it to him. That would be up to you.
take care
ex boyfriend
Thank you so much flushd and mac11. I afraid I have to agree with you. I have no problem choosing who I wanted. But I dont want it to be awkward when I am still friends with my ex.
I will have to be careful not to give him wrong idea. I was hoping that he is over me, but what he did said were a shock. Thank again you two.
furuba,
Another angle: keep in mind that this may be just about him.
You two had a relationship that ran its course and then for whatever reason, you split up. Now, you've both moved on into new relationships but his is long-distance.
He's lonely and needs a woman in his life; you have a history with him, so you're the logical choice to fill the void left when his present girlfriend is away.
I've heard of instances of men stringing along women like this for years...be careful, and don't let this happen to you. Before you start thinking, "he loves me, he loves me not," make sure you have thought this possibility through.
Fortunately, you have a relationship already, and a seemingly decent one at that.
ex boyfriend.
I am so sorry I forgot to mention that I live close to his GF. I am in Toronto, and she is in Missassauga. He lives at the opposite side of the gloBe.
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