These Communist Hurricanes Must Be Stopped

The winds have just begun blowing in central Alabama--the winds of a Communist takeover.

Not since Soviet Premier Nikita Khruschev, instigator of the Cuban Missile Crisis, have we, the land of the free, encountered such powerful Communist infidels. Beware of Ivan and Katrina.

Call it paranoia, call it McCarthyism, but when Katrina chucks one of your Hummers into the Gulf of Mexico, don't come crying to me. I will be securley entrenched in my bunker with plenty of ammunition and teenage girls. And an accoustic guitar.

Call it a coincidence that both Ivan Ivanovich and Katrina Petrov made stops in Cuba (much like Prime Minister Anastas Mikoyan, communist economic and trade negotiator) before threatening the home of the brave. Tell yourself that Katrina could care less about the oil refineries on the Gulf Shores, and the impact their destruction could have on our thriving capitalist economy. Convince yourself that hurricanes do not "hate the idea of freedom", to quote our noble and brilliant President.

It was bad enough that Dennis, the homosexual hurricane (see this link), nearly laid waste to our family values.

O the trees are shaking now, limbs tossing about, and our Democracy, too, will be tossed into the air. Grab what you can. And head for the hills.