Reply
Fri 26 Aug, 2005 09:45 pm
I have worked with this guy for about three years. We only see each other about four hours out of every month, though and I LIVE for those times because I have had feelings for him since the day we met. He at first would talk to me, make time for me and paid special attention to me. Then, I left and went to another office for about 18 months. When I came back several months ago, he acted like it was no big deal and almost ignored me. He has no idea that I have ever had feelings for him....I don't act any different around him and no one else knows...he almost avoids me, even. Anyway, a couple of days ago, he walked in and ignored me as usual. Then, at one point in the meeting, I made him look at me by addressing him and he looked me in the eyes and it was as if I was drowning in his eyes. I mean, our eyes locked and neither of us looked away for the longest time. It was almost like we couldn't. After that, he looked at me several times in the meeting and afterwards, he just sat there watching me, but not saying anything. He normally is up and out of there as soon as the meeting is over, but not this time. He almost looked defeated. I made small talk to another coworker and then patted him on the shoulder and told him "bye". I wanted to stay, but I didn't want him to think that I was trying to be pushy or anything. I want it to be HIS idea. What do you think??? Does he like me or what? Any ideas on how I can get him more interested without being forward??
i know how you can find out........
just go there and tell him you like him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
get it over with!!!!!!!
would like to, but........
I'm too afraid it would be considered sexual harassement and end up getting fired. Believe me, I have thought about it a bunch, but my company would not take kindly to me doing anything like that if they found out. And if he didn't........boy! I might be in trouble. Can't afford to get fired. If I thought he did have feelings, it would be easier........
How much do you really know about this guy?
Is it possible he could be in another relationship? Could he be gay? What does he do when he's not at work? What are his interests/values?
I know; a lot of questions. I'm just wondering if you are working with a pretty-much 'cold situation' or if you already know him well personally.
That would determine how I would approach this.
cheers
not gay.......
I know a good bit about this guy...I know that he is somewhat involved in another relationship and I know that he is also a very religious man...a deacon in his church. I STILL believe that he has feelings for me, though and may be afraid to show them because of his social status and religious status. Just can't help but believe he does....I really would like an honest opinion of what others think, though.
You'll never know unless you ask. I'm sure if you told him how you felt BUT added that you will not pursue it if he was uncomfortable, he would feel grateful and would honestly deal with your infatuation.
My 2 cents.
Has he ever said he was interested in you in a romantic way, terrysangel?
He's had three years to say something.
no, he hasn't ever said anything to me in a romantic way, but keep in mind I had no contact with him for about two of those three years as I was in another office....I did attend his mom's funeral and he hugged me at the end as we were all leaving (as did a lot of people) and he held on to me a bit longer than I thought was really needed...and I just let him....as he was hugging, he said, "God, this feels so good." I don't know if it was just because he needed the comfort or what............I have carried those words in my heart, though. Guess I am just going by his actions and trying to figure things out. One person I work with knows about my feelings and SHE says that she believes he had feelings for me before I left to go to the other office and he tried to shut them out because he is somewhat involved with someone and then he thought he was over those feelings until I came back and they all started up again and he is trying to suppress them. I guess I am trying to second-guess him or "read" him, maybe. Then again, maybe I am just grasping at straws being overly optomistic.
Hi terrysangel and welcome to A2K.
It's nice to have you here and I hope you stick around and enjoy the troops!
I really am going someplace with this for you, but first I need to know just a few little things. Are either of you in a superior rank over the other as far as the corporate ladder at work goes? Do you both work together in the same department and see each other daily or are you separated for most of the day with an occasional run in? And lastly, do either of you supervise the other in any way?
With that info, I might be able to formulate a plan....
I agree with Panzade.
I know that you came here to be able to better read this man rather than advice, but I really think you should act. Some men have trouble pursuing women or making changes in their personal lives. And since you're so head over heels for him, you owe it to yourself to find out once and for all.
Just approach it maturely; I think mentioning your interest would go over better than telling him that you've been infatuated for three years.
I'm an introverted, reserved person, but the best relationships I've had are the ones where I've been forward and sought the other person out, not the other way around.
Rent the movie, "Love Actually" if you haven't seen it - for some wonderful, optimistic support. It is really a great movie on this subject.
If your feelings for this guy are really strong, you feel you are in love with him, and you can't forget him - if you don't fight for him now, someday you'll look back and wonder, "what on earth was wrong with me - did I think I would live forever? What was I waiting for?" Life is short.
It's just my own personal opinion, but I rather take the risk and have it end up in a terrible mess than to wonder for the rest of my life what could have been. I did let the love of my life go as if I didn't care and I have regretted it all my life. It may not have worked out anyway, but I'll never know one way or the other. I just wish I could stand here now and at least say I tried my best.
If love isn't worth a risk, what is?
That's just how I feel. Without knowing what would have happened, I have had to live with this yearning feeling all these years. I wish I had pursued him, then, if he had rejected me, perhaps I would have recovered instead of living in limbo like this.
Sorry that I am just now replying, but I have just now gotten my power back on. We have done without ever since the hurricane on the 29th of last month. Feels great to be back on line!!! But no, Lady J, he is our medical director and I am a social worker... we see each other for about an hour or two every other week....neither of us supervises the other. I have about made up my mind to confront him soon............
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace