'bottomdrawer' and moving into a home with your partner

If you are serious, the next step for many is living together. I will warn you upfront that things change when you move in. You don't get to experience that person fully until you live with them. Don't expect him to be the same as he is when he stays over for a few days. Dirty socks, or wet towels some how manage to show up eventually....

Moving is a bitch no matter who you are so take my advice and hire movers. Also, don't buy too much stuff yet because ryou have no idea what your new space will look like. You might buy something for the livingroom and then find out you have no where to put it. Every time I've moved (8 times in the last 10 years) I end up buying new things because some of the old stuff just doesn't work.

Have you considered renting? Buying without being married can be a hassle because one person is going to have to sign for the house.

hubby and i bought a house together-we were both on the mortgage and deed before we were married. we were engaged but had not legally tied the knot.

it wasn't that tough because we had already been living together for 9 months when we got engage, and then it took 10 months for our house to be built. but i tell you, we argued badly about how to decorate. i wanted a much more asian theme, and he wanted a crisp, clean, modern look-simple, no clutter.

i agree with bella, i wouldnt continue to buy things because you really don't know what your place is gonna look like. plus moving is a bitch, and my hubby used to deliver furniture for a living and do in town moves on the side and it still sucked.

also, remember if your name is no where to be found on the deed (which incidentally it better not be on the mortgage!) then your partner can kick you out legally at any time (unless you put up one hell of a legal fight that is going to cost you). i think i would try renting first...that is what we did. we rented for a year before buying the house (and since it took them 10 months to build-it was almost two years before we got into it-and we were married by the time we closed).

Good luck!!!

thanx for your replies. i understand what you're saying about not knowing a person until you live with them, but i spend everynight of the week (from bout 6pm onwards) and all weekend at my boyfriends now, so i have an idea how it'll be! (been together just over 2 years and wont be getting a place for another 2years at least, cos im at uni)
as for buying things, i thought of those issues bella dea, thats why ive only bought tea-towels, and glasses. nothing like a sofa or tables, etc!
dragon49 - thanx for your advice about issues such as the deed/contract. il bear that in mind!
to be honest, i dont want to rent, as it feels like your getting nothing from it. at least with a mortgage the house will be your own property eventually! As ive said, ive got alot of experience about him+id love to live with him, dirty socks and all!!

I am glad you are so sure of yourself tina but trust those who've been there. Spending the night all the time and living together are two very different things.

i know there'll be some difference, but im still really wanting to do this. i know it'll take time to get used to+it'll be such a hard thing, but i know it'll be worth it!

I am not saying not to do it. It is worth it! But I just want you to remember all this when he is on your last nerve and you wonder why in the heck you're with him! Because it happens...no matter how much you love each other there are moments when you want to kill the other person.

lol i know, heh!
just gonna start saving for next few years, cos i know it aint a cheap thing to do!

i just want you to make sure you are covered as far as the deed/mortgage goes...otherwise, after two years of being together, go for it.

Now that you've told us that you're actually visiting your boyfriend where he lives at his grandmother's, it does put a slightly different spin on knowing what living together will be like.

Do the two of you take care of the cooking/cleaning/laundry etc for his gran? Do you do the shopping for her? Pay the bills?

It's going to be quite different when you really move in together.