Broken relationship

Forums: Divorce, Teoubledmarriage, Brokenrelatiknship
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Hi all,

I am a foreigner living in Japan with 2 kids and husband. He is from same country as I am. We are very head strong people with successful work carrier but, my husband has always been very practical and emotionally unavailable. Recently, he decided he can't take it anymore and started eating separately and has alot of anger issues from start (I guess it is family issue). He is always on his computer and whenever kids ask to play with him he says since you are bad I am not go-to play with you or take you anywhere. To be honest he is a very good dad but, because his behavior my daughter has also started having mental health issues. She is angry all the time. I asked my daughter if she is ok I am ready to leave him but, both kids want both parents. He has said he will leave me after kids are big but to be honest I don't want to be with him anymore. I feel myself when I am by myself and kids. He says I am selfish but constantly doing things that shoes he is. Except for taking kids to school 3 days a week and to ballet he doesn't do much in the house. I am exhausted all the time.

Just want to understand what do you think I should do?

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 2,380 • Replies: 11

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@Japanesewife,

Try couples/marriage counseling or family counseling if you think the children are old/emotionally mature enough to participate.

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@Japanesewife,

Do you think you and your kids would be better off without him? Mentally, I mean. If they don't want him to go... then how about taking your daughter for counselling? She seems to need it. You would be doing her a favour - or may you and the kids go.

I wish the very best for all of you.

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@tsarstepan,

try to be straight forward and ask him what is happening in his life? why this sudden change? ask him what is wrong with him? ask him if he is having any issues? make it clear to him that whatever he is going through is also affecting you and the children as well in a bad way. always remember, before taking any actions, you have to be sure that it is the right thing to do and there is no other WAY. So you have to always confront him if he does anything wrong.

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@Japanesewife,

Thank you everyone. He has been living away from family for long time and lost his both parents. But, even when I confront him for counseling he is not ready for it. He is bad and don't want to change. I have tried to talk to him but, he shut himself out. He doesn't pour his heart out but, i have been ok with it as it was not affecting our marriage before.

I definitely am considering taking my daughter to counseling but, language barrier is big issue for us.

Even if he ask for divorce I am not going to give in easily as, this is not a joke. It is life. I am only child and no one who will be available at my country after my mother. My father also passed away and it has given me a big jolt.

I am mentally broken and working like robot everyday.

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@Yacko,

I have confronted him many time to talk about what he is feeling but, with no fruitful result he shuts himself off.

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@Mame,

I think we should be together keeping aside our issues and just focusing on raising healthy children and once they are gone to choose their future we should be better off.
To be honest he has more financial stability then, myself which is only making it hard for me to make decision.

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@tsarstepan,

They are just 6 and 9 which is big challenge.

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@Japanesewife,

Japanesewife wrote:

I think we should be together keeping aside our issues and just focusing on raising healthy children and once they are gone to choose their future we should be better off.
To be honest he has more financial stability then, myself which is only making it hard for me to make decision.

You're not going to be raising healthy children in that household. Your daughter is already showing signs of this.

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Stop polling everyone and do what you need to be done.

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@Japanesewife,

I agree with Mame, your children are already affected by this.
Go to counseling with them and see how it progresses. In the meantime, try
to have as little interaction with your husband as possible. He is already eating separately, maybe he can stay in a spare bedroom, if you have one.

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Thank you everyone for giving me an opinion.
I am booking appointment even though it is challenge.

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Broken relationship

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