confused

Hi Smiley.
I'm so sorry about your dad passing. It must be a very difficult time for you.

You will be happy again!

It is completely normal that you are feeling sad and a bit confused right now - especially if your family is keeping emotional distance with you. I find it hard to believe that they hate you though. They are probably just having confusing feelings of their own concerning the loss of your dad - and you are a target for the anger they are feeling.

It sounds like there are a lot of intense things going on in your life all at once.

You need some time to mourn. Three months isn't very long when someone so important to you passes. It takes time to adjust to life without them.
You will remember him always, but the pain will become smaller and smaller over time.

Have you thought about going to see a professional to talk to? I think that would be really helpful for you.

I don't want to give you a bunch of advice, because I know so little about you.

I do know that it probably isn't a good idea for you to get married right now .
Now is not the time to make major life decisions.

BTW;

It is not your fault that your father passed away.

You need to hear that as many times as necessary until you believe it and know it.

Take care of yourself

Thanks much. I do think I need time and my boyfriend is very concerned for me and wants me to get out of my sadness before we get married.
YEs, I'm grieving no end for my dad. But my family squarely blames me for it. It sounds so much like from some movie. I remember, 3 months ago, I told my mum that I'll tell my dad that I want to marry this man. My mum told me "dont, you know dad is unwell". My dad has always had a weak heart but i really didnt think he would die after an argument with me. There have been lots of fghts (normal fights) at home - he didnt die, but he died that day. I know i'm not responsible. Yet..

YEs, I'm seeking professional help for my insomnia and depression. I think I will feel better if I break up with my boyfriend. But he obviously does not want to. I want to break up with him yet I know it's not fair to punsih him for none of his fault. God it's so tough. What should I do.

MY boyfriend does not mind waiting for a year or 2 but he wants to go steady till then. I dont want to.

Your fathers death is NOT your fault.
He knew he had a weak heart and shouldnt have let himself get angry.

I think its very unfair for your family to blame you for his death,you loved him as much as they do.But I feel people need to blame someone for deaths nowadays.

I think his death prooves that yuo have to grab life when you can, so dont feel bad about getting together with your man.

If yuor parents/father chose not to believe hat you had nothing to do with his divorce, that was their problem.