sex with new girlfriend- too rough - I’m confused

Sat 20 May, 2023 02:23 pm
I had sex for the first time with my girlfriend and it was unexpectedly rough and painful. I’m in agony today and just not sure whether to accept her apology or believe her when she says it was the alcohol and not what she’s into at all.

We are experienced, women who have had sex with other women before. We were both a bit nervous because this was our first time together. It started off really nice but because she was nervous she was drinking quite heavily. She tried to get me to drink too and I did a bit. I was a little tipsy but not drunk.

She got very drunk and became unexpectedly sexually aggressive
and rough. It was unexpected and quite a turn on to begin with. She is taller, heavier and stronger than me. I obviously knew this before we had sex but I hadn’t fully appreciated just how much stronger than me she was.

What started off as light spanking and pinning me down got really out of hand. She didn’t rape me and I’m not accusing her of that but she scared me a bit about how out of control she got. She was basically getting off on totally over powering and dominating me. She wasn’t just trying to dominate me she wanted me to submit to her. She couldn’t seem to stop herself.

She’s very emotional and got upset part way through and I tried to comfort her. After I tried to comfort her she felt better but then got really rough. I don’t want to go into details but I’m hurting in multiple places today and it’s not a normal - fucked all night was a bit rough ‘sore’ - it’s like I was manhandled, almost bdsm stuff. The things she was saying to me were very bdsm - or what I imagine bdsm to be. It was like something from a porno. At one point she actually went to slap me across the face but saw I was scared and stopped.

This morning she apologised and said she didn’t mean to hurt me and it was the alcohol. She said she can’t remember doing most of what she did and doesn’t understand why she did it. She said she likes soft, gentle sex and it won’t happen again.

Can alcohol make you really dominant and aggressive in bed and want your partner to submit to you? She says she’s not into that at all but she was very into last night. I was quite into most of it but not when she got too rough and not to the point that I’m struggling to walk and can’t comfortably wear a bra today…

I’ve told her I’m ok with most of it but just to dial it back a bit and not hurt me. She is insisting she’s not into rough sex at all and I’m confused.

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bobsal u1553115
Sat 20 May, 2023 03:07 pm
If you don't like it, stop doing it. If she doesn't like it, stop doing it.

What's wrong with some people?

I wish Penthouse was still taking in this "stuff".
Sun 21 May, 2023 12:49 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
Think she got a lot of fantasies off her chest on you and felt relaxed enough after a few drinks to do that with you you could hint that its to overwhelming and discuss a few limits together speaking as a submissive myself i understand where your coming from being dominated turns me on and so suppose its the unknown element of giving away your control to her and fearing what she might do some find that quite a exciting feeling though a safe word helps which is why you need to discuss before hope it helps truly do xxxSadie
bobsal u1553115
Mon 22 May, 2023 04:02 pm
Think she got a lot of fantasies off her chest on you ...

And she managed to do it so subtley, that I don't think she even realized it. I feel violated and so, so dirty.

Don't look at me, I am an animal.
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Fri 25 Aug, 2023 03:48 pm
Lol .. I would have to agree
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