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Wed 10 May, 2023 11:01 am
Hello community,
First of all, I've known my mother in law for 15 years and been with her son for 10 years (we are not interested in marriage but we are in a very loving relationship). Actually, my relationship with my MIL is quite good and we help each other a lot. Recently, we went on a trip together. She is outgoing and funny and different from the casual MIL cliche.
However, I have an issue whenever she brings up RELIGION. She has 2 adult children, other than my boyfriend. One of them is a fanatic catholic (we do not see him anymore partly because of that) and the daughter "C" is a moderate catholic. My sister in law "C" (I like her very much) is having a religious celebration at the end of the month and we were discussing this. Whenever it comes to religion, my MIL changes completely, and starts pushing me into having faith (I am baptised as a Christian protestant but I do not believe in a God in that kind of way, I'm more agnostic really).
Regarding the family celebration, she asked me "why are you even coming?" (my SIL "C" invites me since she considers me part of the family and don't care about me not being Christian). When I say that my boyfriend is not really into God either, she blames me by saying that "women guide their men into religion, and if he is not, then it means I took him away from it". She also mentionned that I makes no sense for us if we plan to have a baby since the baby needs to have a catholic structure in his/her life.
I thought she would cease being like this (she has said such things before in time) but now I realise it's an ongoing problem, although my boyfriend called her 1 hour the other day to ask her to stop harrassing me with this. I am very anxious at how things are going to go at the end of the month since only a couple of people are invited and I won't be able to hang out with other people and avoid her. The celebration is a ceremony for my 12 year old niece (daughter of "C") and I don't want to disappoint her - or "C" - by not coming.
What would you do if you were me ?
@Nextdoorfrenchgirl78,
I think you should consider the sister-in-law and her daughter. If they want you there (they DID invite you, right?), then your MIL is her own problem. Just don't respond to her remarks. Smile, take a breath (or drink) , change the subject or talk to someone else.
And I also would not discuss her son with her again. That's for him to tell her, not you.
If you're going to stay with this guy, you'll need to figure out how to set boundaries. "I'm not discussing religion with you." "I've told you that I'm happy with my faith." "If you're not going to respect my wishes, we'll have to see each other less often."
Aw fer Pete's sake. Go, don't go - but this stuff does not require this much thought.
Besides, you said you and your significant other are not interested in marriage, she's not your freaking mother in law.
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