Best Mate - what should I do

Reply Sat 18 Mar, 2023 05:09 pm
I am a gay man who has a best mate where we just connect so well. Both gay and are in constant comtact. We both know the connection and a fee months back we started a relationship to see where it could go. After some time he called it off saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that he wanted to go back to as we were as mates without consultation. It was the “its mot you, its me” but it was from a place that wasn’t so cliche
i feel like I have had to adapt, deal with barriers he has imposed now and the openness we had on every subject has just become muted. I feel so let down by the guy I consider to be my closest person to just feel cold and restrictive. We are continuing contact but it feels muted and uncomfortable. I had tried to address bow I felt in this but bulldozed a bit and now I am left thinking how do I fix on any capacity the closest relationship in my life.
I feel so sad, and he is acting like be is moving on without any care beyond the initial I don’t want any form of relationship message but I want us to go back to as we were.
I feel so sad as it was a potential relationship based on mutual friendship n Trust and now I feel empty with it and I dom’t want to feel that. Its like I have lost my voice here.
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Reply Sun 19 Mar, 2023 01:48 pm
It's very sad when you lose a loved one, however it happens. From what you've said, it doesn't seem like a) he's too interested in any type at the moment, and b) that you can do anything about it other than grieve the loss and try to move on. And there's nothing I can do for you other than feel some compassion for your loss.
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Reply Thu 23 Mar, 2023 03:22 pm
Well, dating is like a game. play it right and the prize is a lover. Play it wrong and be single. Play the hand dealt. Showing off that you are desired by others is one way to go about it. Another is to convince him you are a catch by showing off your fun life and your success, eventually, he'll catch on.
Good luck out there
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Jennifer Pearson
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2023 01:25 pm
First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you and your best friend are having a hard time. When feelings get in the way of a close friendship, it's never easy, especially when the feelings aren't returned. It sounds like his actions and the changes in your relationship since you tried to get romantic with him have really hurt you.

Tell him how you feel in a clear, non-threatening way that doesn't push him around. Try making some rules about what you need to keep the friendship going, like more open communication or some time alone to figure out how you feel. It's fine to take some time apart and figure out what you want from the relationship.

Don't forget that relationships, whether they're romantic or not, involve two people. If he's not willing to compromise, it might be time to rethink your friendship. You deserve to be with people who make you feel good and help you, and it's fine to let go of relationships that aren't helping you anymore.
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