How many "the one's" have gotten away

Huh.

2, I guess. Maybe 2.5.

Ya know the phrase about getting over someone by getting under someone else -- it may not be that she finished getting over you and then moved on to another guy, she might be using this new relationship to get over you.

By the way I didn't know the saying about 3 great loves before, but makes sense.

Tenoch, I am not a believer in The One. Or even The Three (in a lifetime).

In fact, I think it's silly when people say "I knew he/she was The One..." It makes me think they're deluding themselves.

I think there are Hundreds of possible mates for each of us, maybe Thousands. Every human being has flaws; the question to ask oneself is, "Are these flaws I can live with, even learn to love?"

I feel for your pain, Tenoch. I've been there too.

The only way out of the pain is through it.. that is, wait until you are healed before seeking another relationship.

In the meantime, treat yourself well, and gently, OK? You deserve your own kindness. Mine too.

(((Tenoch)))

I go along with BorisKitten on this one. My feeling is that from among all the millions of possibilities, once can choose to love most of them. Finding someone is more a matter of chance than anything else, and as i don't believe in fate, it seems to me that we can make a relationship, if enough elements of compatibility are present.

I have no regrets about anyone in the past. I have my sweetiepie now, am thankful for that, and i let the past lie, like a sleeping dog.

i dont know, i always felt miserable when i loose a girl and as soon as i see another one naked i forgot about the one, i only looked at the two

I share a home with 3 women. They are the three for me. We have a very loving relationship. We have lived together for eight years.

sounds kinky...

The world is full of nice people you can fall in love with...

BorisKitten has wise words.

There are a few people in our lives who stand out for us because of the way they make us feel - sometimes these people are compatible with us in terms of an ongoing "relationship", sometimes they are not - for many different reasons - and you have to learn that there will be others who can make you feel special (maybe not the SAME) and don't have the same problems that caused you to split up with the last one.

I'm still sad over my last girlfriend but I'm just trying to get on with life and see if someone else out there will distract me enough that I can fall for them...watch this space!

KP

Kp - just look the post above yours!

The best part about living with 3 women, I don't need to cheat. I have enough to keep me pleased and I enjoy pleasing my loves.

3 real ones. 4 if you could that high school love that hits so hard you feel like dying when you break up.

The first one really screwed me up for a long time. In fact, I'd never cheated on a boyfriend until this guy. I knew he was cheating on me and that it was over so I started cheating on him. I guess to "make it even" or feel desired, I don't know.

The second guy I could have seen myself marrying and spending my life with, but the timing was not right and we broke it off. Not to mention, it wasn't meant to be because he was a mommas boy and his momma hated my guts.

My husband is the one I have loved the most and been the most "me" around, even from the start. I think you can love many people but there are only a few (maybe only 1) you really get a connection with. Very few people find that person. You can tell the ones who do though. LIke my grandparents. Late 70's and they still hold hands. That is true love.

Love # 1 - Roland - sigh, my first love and will be remembered fondly forever.....

Love # 2 - Steve - rrowwrr, rrowwrr, (I suppose that needs no translations to French would you say Francis?)
Refused to return my love/lust as he would only marry a Jewish woman

Love #3 - My husband Kirk, the one that means the world to me.

Funny, I forgot the other Steve who I lived with for 2 years, probably because he was unfaithful to me, in fact I'm sure that's why I forgot him.

hmm, i don't know that i believe there are soul mates, but i do know that i knew as soon as we met i would marry my husband if he asked. i am not deluded in any way. he was the perfect opposite to me. i am book smart, he is common sense. i am an emotional roller coaster, he is my rock. i am a slob, he is my neat freak. now are there others out there who could have fit the mold, sure. i didn't meet them though.

the first guy i loved was my high school sweetheart...that didn't work once i went to college-was that immature puppy love. the second guy i loved, was the i need someone to need me love. now there is mr. d who i love for who he is, simply. we are perfect for each other. so i agree, no is perfect, everyone has their flaws. the true question is, can you live with them as someone else said. are they perfect for you personally?

tenoch, my heart goes out to ya, getting over someone who you thought was perfect for you is never easy. rest assured, a very amazing, intelligent, beautiful, woman will see you for who you are and love you just the way you are.

Each time I fall in love, I believe he is the One ,
then, when it is over and we have both moved on,
I no longer believe there is a One,
I know he is not the One,
and I find myself another One:)

Love comes in so many packages, forms, and flavours: I dont know how many times or how many people are possible 'Ones'......
but there are lots!

Take care of yourself:)
There is plenty of love in this world to go around.
You just have to be available for it.

The one that got away? Ya, I've had one of those. I know what you mean, Tenoch.

At my first full time job, after college. I sat next to a really cute guy, who was the same age as me. (In fact, his birthday was one day after mine.) Working together, day in and day out, we really had the chance to get to know each other.

We had the same outlook, the same sort of values and opinions about things -- even the same sense of humor.

It wasn't long before we became good friends -- and not long after that that we developed stronger feelings.

He was a great guy. I loved, respected and trusted him. We could talk about anything to each other. We could finish each other sentences, or look across the room and know what the other one was thinking.

I think a big part of the reason he was so special to me was that we had the chance to really get to know each other and become friends first. Loved just followed, easily and naturally. There wasn't a lot of pain involved, just getting closer and enjoying every minute of it. I always think relationships like that are the best.

The thing is, most people meet and get to know each other by dating -- and the whole "dating" situation can just seem so contrived, artificial...even forced.

And these days, people try to rush into physical intimacy right away -- before any emotional intimacy can develop. I think falling in love "mind first" is the kind of love that really lasts.

But, unfortunately, when I had "wonderful guy" in my life -- I was only about 22 or 23. I didn't want to get married at that age!! I was immature and didn't realize how lucky I was to have him.

Eventually, I left my job there, and Wonderful Guy and I drifted apart. I remember him saying to me, "what am I going to do without you?"

I still think about him sometimes, and feel like I could kick myself. I wish I had tried harder to keep that relationship going. Sigh....I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I don't know if I'll ever find someone else that I'll feel that close to. Who knows? I hope so..

You say, there are 3 great loves? Good. Then I still have a couple more to go!

Bella wrote:



I love that.

Me too. :wink: