After a breakup (gay)

Thu 22 Dec, 2022 09:55 pm
Hi there

This is my first time writing and I need some advice on a past relationship. I was broken up with around a month ago and even though I thought I got closure of some sort, I'm still frustrated and confused about certain things.

The whole story condensed is that at one point he sat me down and told me that it was ok for me to have sex with other people due to his low sex drive. The only exception was that "it would be nice" for me to tell him before or while it happened. Before that, we could barely get things going let alone be satisfied.

He went on vacation with some friends and I felt very alone. I wanted to wait for him until we could have sex but I just couldn't keep myself in order. Since this happened after the conversation, I thought I was ok to talk to other guys. The thing I didn't do was tell him beforehand. I went with a friend to get dinner and I told him about my sex issues. After that we sexted that night. I also did it with some other guys, but just for trading pictures, I didn't have physical sex with anyone.

The day after I told him everything. I was the one who told him we should break up, but he still wanted to wait and see what solution he could come up with. He called back and said he wanted no contact. At this point I'm assuming it's over. He says the problem was me not telling him anything beforehand.

The day after that he kept sending me pictures and memes. He called me back saying that he still didn't know if we should be together but he thought we could work it out. perhaps, but that he still had sex with another guy while we "broke up". I was confused and angry since I didn't know what to do.
I went off on him for playing with how I felt. O thought he drew his boundary and I cried plenty for him that day. Then he called me like nothing is wrong.

After a while we actually didn't talk to each other for a couple of days, then he called saying it's over. I sent him a pathetic letter trying to close things off anyways. The day he got the letter I saw him on a dating app.

After all this I've still got questions. If physical sex was the end goal, how would I communicate my interests with snother guy if sexting wasn't ok? If I needed to let him know even before talking to a guy, should I have let him know about every guy I talked to but didn't have actual sex with? Why did he want to know beforehand instead of not knowing at all?

I want to understand what I did wrong to help get myself better. I'm willing to hear that u was completely in the wrong. But I'd like to understand what it was first.

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Fri 23 Dec, 2022 04:51 am
@Cjx432 ,
Nobody can tell you what someone else was thinking. My guess is that he either didn't mean it when he said you could have other sexual partners and/or that you were meant to tell him before you had sex with someone else.

It's a guess, but clearly this bloke has issues, communication just being one of them and you're better off without him.

Take care of yourself, things will get better.
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bobsal u1553115
Fri 23 Dec, 2022 05:22 pm
You really need to talk to Jesus about the hate you hold in your heart about people you know nothing about.
bobsal u1553115
Fri 23 Dec, 2022 05:27 pm
@Cjx432 ,
Izzy has it right. If it is confused, mixed in signals, inconsiderate of feelings: it's time to move.

It's almost as if you were 'catfished' by a straight guy.

Move on to healthier relationships.
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Fri 23 Dec, 2022 08:19 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
thanks but he doesnt answer and he knows i hate him.
What would be the point?

All i can do is take pleasure in exposing him as a fraud and psychopath until i die and he tortures me.

If you cant see him as those things even after ive explained why, good luck to you. Youre probably one of his future grovellers and will escape torture
bobsal u1553115
Sat 24 Dec, 2022 08:41 am
As a CIS male, I have no problem with anyone's orientation.

If G*D can call on a mass murdering, serial killer like St Paul to be a Church leader and the first Christian to call for the inclusion of the non-Jewish born into the early Church, He has no problems with any class of people who want what any real christian wants. The Lord G*D Jehovah does not make garbage. He created you, but He did not put your bigotry into your heart. That is garbage you put there.

You have a come to Jesus moment available here. PLEASE take it. The Truth will make you free. Haven't you ever noticed: Christ never had anything to say about gay people specifically? He loves us all the same way: inclusively.
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