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I need a translation into Latin

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Please could someone translate the following into Latin. I have forgotten most of mine.

"Up your bottom"

and

"Beware the fat man. His humour is divine".

I know these seem peculiar but it would really help me. Thanks.

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cave (command for 1 person)
cavete (for 2 or more)

cave/cavete hominem crassum. Eius facetia est divina. = Beware the fat man. His humour is divine

erige podam tuam - Up your bottom (if you mean backside saying bottom)

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Thanks. I appreciate it.

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