I didn't know foster parents had to deal with the parents. That must be really hard.
I can understand where you're coming from -- it would be hard to turn a kid back over when you can't be sure the situation has improved.
It sounds like Mr. 3's mom has had nearly a year to get her act together so maybe she IS ready to take better care of her kids. I don't know how it works in your state but in Oregon when a parent loses their kid to foster care they have one year to go through a pretty rigorous program and if they don't pass it within one year their kids are put up for adoption. Parents who want their kids back have to be really motivated to prove themselves.
Let's hope mom is just a kook and not a danger.
I always thought that once a social worker had a case assigned to them that they followed the child's life for a bit to make sure things were going okay.
Yesterday I learned that I was mistaken in this assumption.
I'm not criticising social workers; they have to work within a system that is at times impossible and, I think, begins to make the callus.
Yep, soz. Worry about the girls and deflect mom's drama is really all I can do though.
DB, Boomer--
Thinking about you both.
Hold your dominions.
Yeah that is how it works here as well. This social worker is tired and wants out. But has to do at least another year. He is a good guy I found out she will get physical custody but not legal untill much later so I feel better about that. They will be fallowing her. As for the Social worker staying with them umm no not really. They get changed around some times and if there is a request from a parent some times they will change them. I think for the most part I just have to learn how to do this with out feelings. But that souds awfull. I don't like the way it soud when people meaning social workers talk about the kids as if they are a name, number and a list of issues. That's just ugly to me but really that is how you have to in order to remain sane I guess.
I'll keep you, mo and your extended family in my prayers. I wanted to thank you for listeing to all my drama when you have so much on your plate already. That says you are a very loving peron. Thank you. Mo is very lucky. Thanks Noddy as weell and every one else.
Wow. I have so much admiration for you, DB, and boomer too of course. What you're doing is really really important.
As far as Mr. 3 goes, you are doing the right thing by providing structure and plenty of activity. Other than ensuring that there isn't much sugar around, there's nothing I would suggest. But maybe, if it's possible, you could schedule 20 minutes of one-on-one time. I know when my kids got to be about this age, well, specifically my son after his little sister was born, they started to need the one-on-one activity. We do puzzles together (careful not to tell them where the pieces go) or have tea together, or even bake cookies. But something about having that focused attention of just one other person seems to have a calming affect.
Maybe, if he's not napping anyway, that would be the time to do it. That way he doesn't disrupt the others and he you don't have to chase him down to get him back into bed.
My plate...
I can tell you something about my plate:
The only reason I have a plate is because the people on A2K and it's earlier incarnation have given me a plate.
I knew zip about kids when Mo came into my life and they have taught me everything I know. Many of them are on this thread and they know who they are.
It is in their honor that I have a plate to pass and belive you me, it feels good to have some knowledge to pass along.
I know that I'll think about Mr. 3 til my dying day.
And I'll think about the woman who cared enough about him to seek advice on how to help him.
