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Oh MI GOD. I wrote my fiancee an email about what my friend said to me about eating over his house, cause he made dinner for 5 people and I said i doubt dave would let me go over and eat food at your house and he said im sure he will and i said i dont think so. he said ok, bring him too the more the marrier. if my parents weren't cooking for us, maybe i would have mentioned it to him. but ...so i wrote my fiancee that just to tell him. i want to hang out with him but with my fiancee. im trying to make him think he is nice and just thinks im cool to hang with, i dont know. well my fiancee just told me on the phone he got aggrvated with me because i told the guy i couldnt go over there; what the fuk? he knows damn well he wouldnt want me there by myself, not because of anything, any guys house im sure he doesnt want me to be there alone without him; but why would he get mad at me? he said everything is always up for a discussion, yea whatever. then he said he doesnt like this guy because he thinks he likes me. i really dont know what he thinks of me, but hes not going to make any moves knowing dave and i are getting married next year.

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Smoothboop7, I don't think you should get married so soon. Learn how to communicate with your fiance better.

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Slim jim
i dont really need your advice, if i wanted your individual advice I would ask you personally, I do communicate well with my fiancee and just because I like to vent online doesn't mean idont vent to my fiancee. You dont even know me, all you know is what i write, and for all that could be some kind of attention for all these reader's .

you don't know anything about me so keep your comments to yourself.

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I dont think slimjim was trying to be rude. He actually made a great point. Communication skills would RID yourself of problems like these.. where you dont feel like you can hang out with friends.. or your boyfriend is upset because you hang out with friends..etc.

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understand
I understand but i dont hang out with anyone but my fiancee. he's not mad at the fact i want to hang out with friends from an old job, he doesnt really get mad at anything, he just wants to figure out why this guy wants to hang out with the both of us. i dont really care i guess what others think, but no one knows me, im a good person and we all like to be flattered and tell our significant others about it to see if they get jealous enough to care and when that happens thats all we look for. my fiancee and i are very close; we see eachother every day we talk we laugh were perfect for one another and when i am upset i tell him, but i also come here and vent too and i dont see nething wrong with that.

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i do have one question
i would like to know how to delete a topic ? can you help?

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Re: understand

smoothboop7 wrote:

I we all like to be flattered and tell our significant others about it to see if they get jealous enough to care.

No, we don't.

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Re: understand

ehBeth wrote:

smoothboop7 wrote:
I we all like to be flattered and tell our significant others about it to see if they get jealous enough to care.

No, we don't.

i second that... Confused

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Thank you Shewolfnm Smile

i knew there has to be someone human out there

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Re: understand

smoothboop7 wrote:

he just wants to figure out why this guy wants to hang out with the both of us.

if the guy wants to hang out with both of you, what's the big deal. it probably means that he enjoys your company, but realizes you are in a committed relationship and wants to make your finace feel better (as in he is no threat to your relationship). my hubby and i hang out with his female friends all the time and with my male friends.

as far as him being upset with you about saying you couldn't go because he wouldn't let you. my guess is he was upset because you made him look like an overprotective, jealous fiance. that may not have been your intention, but it may have come across that way. in the future, maybe an answer such as, i would love to come, can i bring my fiance? if your friend were to say no to that, then you have a problem and your fiance is right, the guy is into you. more than likely he would just say, sure the more the merrier which is what he said. funny, after mr. d and i got engaged, everyone pretty much started inviting us a couple to do everything. they kinda figured you dont get one without the other.

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And there was me thinking that shewolfnm was seconding that that WASN'T normal...

I don't see why you're so overprotective about the idea that you guys don't communicate. I mean obviously we get the worst side of it but objectionally read what you've written. What you are SAYING is that you guys don't communicate.

And no offence but if you are enjoying making your fiance jealous then it's hardly a sign of maturity!

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Dragon49 you absolutely correct, my fiance was mad because he didnt want someone thinking he was jealous....i know that! and the guy did tell me to bring him along and thats what i told my fiancee that he prob just thinks were cool to hang out with; i know im definitly coool to hang with Smile

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I think the three of you should go out the way your co-worker/friend suggested. And see how you all feel about one another beyond that point. I'd like to read further developments as this is an interesting situation.

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Bekaboo wrote:

And there was me thinking that shewolfnm was seconding that that WASN'T normal...

...

And no offence but if you are enjoying making your fiance jealous then it's hardly a sign of maturity!

she was

it isn't

and

you're right

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What?
Whoa.. hold on.
I was NOT seconding the jealousy comment. I think that is a terrible way to behave in a relationship.
Obviously i wasnt making myself clear..
I was simply agreeing with EBETH and her comment .
Nothing more.

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I see where the mis-understanding came from .
I totally missed this comment!
::

smoothboop7 wrote:

Thank you Shewolfnm i knew there has to be someone human out there

Uhh.. no sweetie. I do NOT agree with you . And I am sorry you think I was.
I was agreeing with Ebeth. I think that playing jealousy games is an invite to tension, hatred and will ultimatly destroy a relationship.
Jealousy games is something you should leave behind in High School.
If you define your relationship by how jealous you can make your boyfriend that is a form of mental abuse and completely wrong. You shouldnt disrespect your partner like that . If you are 'mature' , these games shouldnt be taking place in your relationship.

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I hope that issues like these don't bleed into your marriage, merely because I'm pretty certain you'll be fed up with having your life and every move controlled about 5 years down the road.

Be open with eachother. Let him go out with his friends, male or female, and vice versa - and if he doesn't like that idea, then I think you should not see it as a thing to be happy about...

Enjoying making your partner jealous is a game of swords and daggers that I used to love playing. But then I realized how dangerous shiney metal things with sharp points can be. You can't possibly be in a long-lasting relationship if you're getting a thrill out of that whole 'Oh! He's upset, he loves me,' adrenaline. It will wind up with you eventually doing something actually worth his jealousy (flirting, cheating, etc.) in order to get his attention. That's a big no-no.

But of course, that is my opinion. I just hope the marriage isn't doomed from the start.

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