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SIL has taken over my husband's bday party

 
 
Reply Thu 28 Jul, 2022 08:33 pm
My husband has a big birthday coming up. For MONTHS I've been thinking about having a party. My mom is really the only one that knew this. So about a month ago my two SILs text me saying they weren't sure if I was planning anything, but they would like to host a surprise party for him, for THEIR side of the family.
They have a large family so I thought ok. Let them decide who on their family gets an invite. I wouldn't want to get crap from my MIL why certain people weren't invited. They asked me for my husband's friend list, but made sure one guy wasn't invited. Which pretty much means all his HS friends couldn't come as they are a tight group. So I gave them another small group of guys.
So a month goes by and they pick a date in the near future. I said ok to it.
So just yesterday they come back and say hey inviting those friends won't happen, but now lets invite my immediate family.
So since the past month I've been thinking about having a smallish party for my husband inviting my family, my aunts, uncle, cousins, etc. Maybe even my husband's HS buds.
So I tell my SILs no need to formally invite my side as I was planning something myself.
So my one SIL said she wants to go ahead with all their side and my immediate family, leaving out every one else, obviously. Because she wants it "special". Again, I said thanks, but not necessary.
Side note, all my side and his friends live practically in the same area, my SILs house would mean an hour trip.
So they come back and said, well we didn't know you were planning something separate...... can we come and combine parties??
Honestly, I'd prefer to keep it separate. It's just too many people. I'm thinking about having the party at my husband's friend's place of business, the same guy they said couldn't originally come to their party.
My SIL even threw back at me SHEs the one hosting HIS party.
So how do I nip this in the bud??
I don't want to cause issues with my in-laws , but my one SIL is pretty much involved with EVERY family dispute and can be very petty. And if you know me, the harder you push me, the harder I'll push back.
Ideas/advice?
TIA

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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 210 • Replies: 3
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izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 29 Jul, 2022 03:28 am
@Petals2002,
Invite his friendsover for another party after the event.

Don't tell his side of the family at all.

You know which one he'll prefer.
PoliteMight
 
  -2  
Reply Fri 29 Jul, 2022 10:30 pm
@Petals2002,
Just go over the party in detail, and when it comes time, you take center stage and take the lead. Give one big invisible FU to them.

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CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 30 Jul, 2022 12:34 pm
@izzythepush,
I agree to this.
Have your husband's friends party the week after his SILs party and
do it the way you intended to without saying a word to the in-law family.

They were initially trying to exclude most of his friends and your side of the family so it's quite obvious that they had no intentions to collaborate.

Do your own thing later on and tell your hubby why.
I am sure he'll understand the implications.
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