IT WAS FASCINATION, I KNOW . . .

dude you write pretty good. I'll insert an excerpt that I once wrote in a letter to the former love of my life. it might not be as eloquent, but I thought is was pretty good.


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You don't know how beautiful you are. Everything about you resembles beauty in its highest and most purest form. I hope you believe this one day. Your skin, your eyes, your smell, are things that I've been longing to experience again. It's really depressing to think I will never experience you in the most intimate way a person can. To trully love somebody the way I loved you is something rare. The love of my life. The one woman who's every imperfection radiated beauty. My eyes, ears, and soul are so lucky to have known what total infatuation, passion and love are. It's a feeling i'd like every human being to experience just once in their lifetime. To think i never got tired of gazing into your eyes, or hearing your voice are topics most people would laugh about. It's like I know a secret everybody else doesn't know. Every person who doesn't see that about you is a fool. A simple caress of your neck was enough to give me goos bumps. The look of lust, love and passion swirling throughout your eyes ignites a fire within me i cannot ever extinguish. The burning desire to hold on tighter and longer while our heartbeats and kisses get deeper and harder are undeniable. It's a total body and soul experience that you and me went through. It was real. There is no way that was fake, cheap or fast. If god gave me one more day before I died to do what ever I wanted; It would be to experience you the way I did. No drug known to man can come close to the ecstasy your presence can induce. I often wondered why men throughout history have done foolish things in the name of a womans love. I now know why. It's an easy sacrifice to give for such a beautiful reward that cannot be given to you by anybody else. My purpose in life it to experience this feeling again. I will dedicate my
life to never taking this kind of love for granted. Seizing the moment or else it may be too late. God, I hope at least your sense of self esteem is changed. Even if it's not me who wins the grand prize, I want you to know that your are that prize. Don't ever let any man let you believe otherwise. You should seek this feeling that i feel too. It's so beautiful, so don't let it pass you buy or you're regret it also.
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Thank you for your kind comments on my writing. And thank you for posting you missive to your erstwhile lover, i enjoyed reading it.

Tenoch and Setanta, those are very beautiful words.

Let's see - what is it about the love of my life. He is just the way he is. He will not be changed by anyone. He makes me feel like I am the greatest person in the world and supports me in anything I do. He is funny and smart. He enjoys life, loves good food and cooks a lot better than I do. He has this cute little accent when he speaks German - just a little bit...

And there is not a lot of crap...

My loves eyes smolder.
When we first met - I knew we had to be together.

His hands are callused
His nose is pronounced - showing his Native American side.

I love the way he says 'light bulb'...........laht bub.

He is a gunslinger, doesn't say much, doesn't need to.

He loves me more than anything in the world.

He knows who he is.

I was first attracted to his genius. I was not looking for a partner so I failed to notice the other aspects of his humanity that ultimately brought me to him. They were there all along, I just wasn't paying attention.

The little boy's eyes that lit up when he saw a cherry pie.

The complicated wit that takes me a minute to realise it was a joke.

The fact that he made my mother laugh when he drank lemonade from a mason jar. She thought he was fun, he liked her too.

The fact that his favorite two people in the world are his aging grandparents. He asked his grandfather to be his best man at our wedding.



What do I put up with? The perfectionism that prevents him from letting go and seeing that sometimes things can be good enough even if they aren't perfect.

I do put up with a lot of his crap.. why? because he puts up with a lot of mine LOL

His honesty and his inability to lie are few of his biggest gifts.

I love the moment when he stands in front of his closet with a blank look. He never seems to find any of his undergarments even if it is staring right back at him.

His innocense.. if someone is flirting with me.. he never gets it.

The loveliest man (of course after my Dad ) I have come across so far.

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Re: IT WAS FASCINATION, I KNOW . . .


My older brother and younger sister have always fallen into love easy and fallen out of it quite hard. I, on the other hand, have always been much more reserved when it came to my relationships. I think I used the "L" word only once and that I can blame on young teenage hormones.

So, it came as quite a shock to me when that I found myself at home, after our first date, dreaming of the day I would marry her. I imagined our kids, how it would feel growing old with her, how everything she was is what I was looking for this whole time. She is strong, intelligent, confident, caring hardworking and most important, she loves me unconditionally. Things have only gotten better since that first date. She continues to amaze me more and more with each passing year.

What do I put up with? Sometimes I think she is a bit to cautious and reserved when it comes to taking risks. Beyond that, what I have to put up with is nothing compared to what she has to put up with... after all, she is married to me.

hmm

he's silly and goofy and loves dogs and me.
sings a lot.
doesn't mind holding my hand when I want to skip down the street.
he's not afraid to wear pink.
he lets me talk 'our' hairdresser into putting weird gunk in his hair.
he eventually figures out that most of my wardrobe ideas are good ones (I'll never win the footwear battle)
he'll do anything to accommodate the whims of small dogs.

it's a good thing.

You durned ol' sweetiepie girl . . .

Me?

<looks around>

I'm not sweet. I'm acidic.

my babe is such the sweetest man on the planet...
hes my best friend
hes sensitive
hes attentive
hes funny
hes styley
he cooks
he cleans
hes educated
hes an extremely good looking guy he looks like David Beckham without the helium voice, hes fashionable and hes a top hairstylist, so Im a very happy girl, every morning he gets up early and makes me a cup of hot tea or makes my lunch for work when Im running late, and normaly does the super market shopping.....geez I feel guilty now.
His faults...he likes to spend money on boys toys, which get used about 6 times before dissapearing to the garage.

I had my eye on Effie from the first, and she didn't know it. She was about to move on, when I told her of my feelings. I had been observing her with her beautiful young daughter, as well as the way she comported herself. My first wife was lazy. Effie was not. Too, I was attracted by the way she played hard to get. Our backgrounds were far from genteel. I wanted to work together to build a new life. It was hard work, but, in time, she consented to be my bride.
It was not always easy, in part because I was not up to the task of being as good a partner as she deserved. I didn't have a wandering eye, but there were other things . . .
I drank heavily and seemed somehow to always end up broke. Broke is no way to run a marriage. It makes you fight, and it sometimes breaks you up.
Effie stood by me even when I probably didn't deserve it. We have been together 28 years now. I think I just may keep her.

Things that attracted me to my future fianc'e when we met..

We both ended up wearing coffee the day that we met. "At dunkin donuts - we were both in a rush that day and ran into each other."

He was brave, curtious, respectful, sincere, polite and most of all his manners..

Today:

I am attracted to the fact:

He is well educated, polite, brave, curtious, respectful, sincere, no children, never married, strong, good hearted, my best friend, compromises, doesn't try to change me instead we compromise, he treats me like a lady, he does the grocery shopping, he helps me cook, clean, paint, organize, he backs my decisions in our relationship and in my career and he gives me his thought, or advice that may help my career, he accepts me for who I am and not for who he wants me to be, he is loyal, faithful, honest, trustworthy, committed to what we have and he trusts me, we communicate on everything. he is doing better at following thru with decisions that we make and doing what he says he is going to do or at least tries to the best of his ability and he is doing a lot better on not percastinating things. Our health is one of his priorities.

His faults:
He trusts other people a little too much (we have rental properties and when they are now two an half months behind and don't return a phone call) I have a problem when others try to take advantage of him

he doesn't help put like the "500 piece" desk together or other things that we have gotten. He will start watchin' tv and he normally goes to sleep. (but this may also be a health issue - tired all of the time) he has recently done a sleep study.

He will ask me for his help and then when I stand my ground he gets fustrated with me and so I've learned that when he asks me for my help "depending on what it is" I tell him why ask me you're only going to get fustrated with me. Then he usually words it will you try to help me providing that I allow you too.

Common Sense - Sometimes he plays stupid or at least tries too but, more of it is coming out finally after a year of being together

He puts things in a finacially risk to me.. For example I wouldn't own a credit card and when we first got together they were his best friend it seemed like. Maybe not that bad. But to me at the age of 26 "myself" and only being 3000. dollars in debt well I'm very thankful for that. Him on the other hand we'll say a few mill. in debt and 30,000 of which is in credit cards hmm I don't like that. Before we got together he took a credit line out on the house of 60,000 and lost most of it, and loaned a person who was his real estate agent 25,000 I have an issue of this. He has talked and by what he has said he has figured more ways to go in debt and I would just like to get some of our debt taken care of first before going anymore in debt if that makes sense. I would hate to see anyone work as hard to get what they got and to fall to the bottom in the end. I had rather see them take a step back and then go forward. That worries me.. But he has turned to me a few times for advice or for my opinion and he done 2 of the major finacial issues. 1. We have decided to get rid of all the credit cards, and the
2. Put a house up for sale so that we can pay of one house and put some money back for cushion so if he was to ever loose his job and for some reason if there was a reasoning for needing the cash then we would have it (only for emergency use like to make a rental property mortgage payment)

He was a bachelor for six years and he has never had a woman live with him and his cabinets in a 7400 sq ft home in EVERY ROOM I don't know how he finds anything... But his importance is on the outside and mine are on in the inside as well as the outside and he doesn't get that.

The house he is use to having one set way and he likes it okay that's fine but, when my stuff can't get organized because he has draws cluttered with 1999 reciepts and who only knows what. Where am I suppose to put my stuff at? I've asked him this and I started cleaning out cabinets but there is soooo much house that it is a full time job trying to get it all done.

He has shirts with tags on them still, never worn, same with shoes and etc in all four closets I don't know about the basement closet I'm too scared to look in there too. But will be getting there one day.

Easiest way to explain an idea of it... Above is only some but in the two car garage he has a motorcycle he bought three years ago he doesn't even have a motorcycle license and never will have I don't think and on top of that he has a fridge out there well he buys stuff when it's on sale and needless say from over a year ago he bought stuff he said and put it in the fridge and guess what I'm sure the doctors would have enough penicillin to make antibiotics out of it... We are hauling a perfectly good fridge off because of this.. It works but, not opening it little lone cleaning it.. But it wouldn't have went to waste if he wouldn't have percrastinated. I need to start a blog I guess. LOL Sorry for taking the time to write. But if anyone has any ideas I'm up for them.. Especially from a males stand point.. We don't have a truck to haul it off. I want to get our finacials more secure before we go in anymore debt... It stresses me out having this much debt and not enough cushioning just incase we need a back up plan.

The other thing that bothers me is when he sees a grocery item on sale he will buy like ten or twenty of them like we have the room in our cabinets.. Hah or in our fridge we usually end up throwing it out.

So much waste that could be money saved...

Here's an example cereal went on sale 10 boxes 10.00 he bought ten.
Steaks went on sale he bought so many that we ended up having to throw some of the food in the freezer away. At least I think it was steak hmm may have been ribs. I don't remember. But the last one was ribs he bought six of 'em since they were on sale which is great if we had a freezer but we don't.

He's been talking about buying a freezer but we've got to get our a/c fixed first. It hasn't been fixed since he bought the house. The a/c is lennox and they are twenty years old or will be next year. He said he never worried about it. But he usually leaves for work between 7am and 7:45am and he doesn't get home till 6pm 7:30pm and I work from home as I am self employed so when it's too hot in the house then I leave and I'll go shopping to get out of the house which costs money and I'm thinking okay that money wouldn't be out the door if he would just get them fixed. For my career shopping is a never ending story that's part of it..

Hey Guys! I'll be first to say that I hate shopping... I've done more in the last three years than I have my whole lifetime I think. ;-)