just got back early from a date.....

poor Tenoch.

Relax brother, this frustration will pass.

I'm a 26 yr old woman, not married, and just broke it off with a long time love of mine. For a bit, I was freaking out about the same thing: oh my god, i'm 26 and where are all the decent, mature men?! Am I gonna be alone forever now?

It's just panic. It passes.

Not everyone dreams of being married at a young age. Not everyone wants that. I'm one of those people. A lot of my friends got married young. They have kids. Not all of them are happy. Some of them got married bc they felt that's what everyone does: which is the exact reason not to. Now they tell me how they envy my position. I can travel whenever I want, I can leave a relationship I'm not happy with without divorce/kids.

I've been in two long-term relationships: both great, just not marriage.
I almost married the first guy. Today I'm glad I decided not to. I'll always love him: but we would have driven each other crazy over the years!

Everyone's path is different. There are great women who are single by choice or circumstance; at all ages.

Don't give up, and don't forget to enjoy where you are now.

Hehe I still AM young... and yes I've made stupid mistakes that have caused pain to others... Already. Hmm impressive at my age. Or not because the end product is that i'm the one being screwed over.
It works both ways... you don't recognise the good guy until you come out of your stress-head stage... and by then... he's gone

26 - gosh, that sounds so young to me.

Try older women Tenoch. I'm not saying someone in their 50's, but try and find a woman in her 30's that is self-confident and has lived a little. She will appreciate your youth and probably have more patience for your flaws.

Mr B was 28 when we met, I was 32. He didn't think he was ever going to find his special someone, I was divorced and not looking for a relationship of any kind.

Two years later we married and we celebrated our 16th anniversary in May. She's out there Tenoch, she just hasn't found you yet.

Tenoch:

its true, the nice guys finish last, but so do the nice girls. it took me a long time to find someone. my brother is 30 and never even had a serious g/f. He is so frustrated also. Sometimes he feels just like he is on the edge. are you circling in the same directions? Try looking on the internet, i was lucky. I have been lucky, i met in the past at least five guys and they were nice all of them.
Everyone will find a partner for themselves, it takes time. you cant rush it. just havent found her yet. "when you least expect it"

I think you're screwed man. Smoke up.

Tenoch,
I'll be 27 yrs. old in November. I was in New Jersey "1500" miles from home "Texas." On July 24, 2004 two weeks before I was leaving to go back to Texas. I was at a dunkin' donuts and I was in a rush and this man was in a rush to work. Needless to say we both ended up going back home to change our clothes however, before we left he asked me if I would take a minute to talk to him. I told him that I didn't have long to talk. Needless to say he asked me on a date, with coffee all over my FAVORITE SHIRT, AND SKIRT. But I told him that I wasn't interested in dating and getting involved with anyone and told him that I was heading back to Texas in two an half weeks. He asked me if I would have lunch him that day. I told him yes, we exchanged numbers and we ate lunch together. I was concentrated on my short and long term goals in life, my future and I know/knew what I wanted out of life. I knew that a man didn't fit anywhere into my future at least not that I seen.
Well, Michael and I went to lunch that day. Needless to say he took the rest of the day off "from his plans" and I took the rest of the day from what I had planned to know this man in a city where I thought I would never move to unless it was a career move and thought that it would be the only reason why I would move. Needless to say that night we stayed together in the same house "yes, in the same bed" no we didn't sleep with each other. We stayed up till early hours of the morning talking. We talked for a week solid pretty much. I know/knew what I wanted out of life and told him upfront that I didn't know if my future would involve him. As a lot of men end up having a problem with dating a freelance model/actress. Traveling all the time, not a lot of time to spend together, I didn't/don't want children right now, etc. Well, needless to say on August 7, 2004 he asked me to move to New Jersey. I'm thinking okay my personal assistant is in Texas, my life is great in Texas. My roots are in Texas. Hmm.. but I gave it a shot. What did I have to loose other than where I will always call home "Texas." So I called my personal assistant up and I told him I need you to bring all my stuff to New Jersey. I called the apartment complex and told them that I was moving and etc. Needless to say I've been in New Jersey ever since Sunday, was Michael and I's first year anniversary officially. We are best friend's as well as my lover. I will say that I am very happy with the decision that I have made.

Now, here is another point.. A really good "male" friend who happens to be my ex of four years and I talk all the time and he is having the same problem. He is quite a bit older than I am and I am always telling him you have to becareful because they don't make hearts like they use to, and not everyone has common sense. But I am always telling him that with patience, time and prayer.

No one is going to have an answer for you. As every situation is different. The only thing that anyone can do is say what they think or feel.

Before you can make anyone else happy, one has to be happy with themsleves in order to make anyone else happy. I think and feel that one has to know what they want in a relationship and in a partner. For every decision there is a sacrifice, or a consequence.

What do I mean by knowing what you want in a relationship..

Do you want a woman/man with children?
Do you want a woman/man that knows what she wants out of life?
Do you want a woman/man who is a leader/follower?
Do you want someone who is confident?
Do you want someone who is going to be honest, loyal, faithful?
Do you want someone who is neat and tidy or do you care?
Do you want someone who is honest with themselves?
Do you want someone who has a positive attitude or does it matter?
Do you want this or that?
Do you want to get to know a person? "What I mean by this is are you actually wanting to get to know one person and make them a part of your life or at least try to?
Do you want a short term or long term relationship?
Are you willing to accept changes in your life?
Are you willing to do this or that?
Are you willing to accept the fact that he/she brushes his/her teeth with her left hand instead of her right?


My father always tells me never give more than 80% unless you have too and there are those times that you have too.

never put more on the table than you can afford to loose
"One day you'll understand, if you don't already"

My father also says get everything in writing even if I'm driving someone else's car and it's my significant others.

Yeah, okay maybe he is too cautious or not cautious enough. Whose to say. I will just say with the world today, you never know.

But the moral to the story is I wish you the best!

Always think positive, in every situation I find that it helps even when it seems the world is piling high at work, or in your personal life it feels like it's going to fall apart. Because it could always be worse.

Best Regards To All,
Tressie Scott

Re: just got back early from a date.....


Hey!! I am 20 and the last thing I talk about is mtv, the mall and make-up....

Mtv is one of the most ridiculous channels I have ever seen, ever (then again I was never really into it)

The mall, I hate it, I hate shopping and I hate watching people shop, I would rather be doing something more productive (I had to go to the mall last night and I was in and out of there in less than a half an hour.... but I needed to get a birthday present)

Make-up.... I wear it but I don't talk about it.... at least not to the guys I date (I talk to the girls about it if they need an opinion) if I like it I buy it....

So not all younger girls are bad!

Then again I grew up a little faster than some of my friends and I left all of that behind when I was 16.....

But hey don't sweat it, you'll find the right girl... hang in there and don't give up man!

Indeed! It's the channel dedicated to superficial attitudes and shallow people.


I've been told by friends to look for older women too, two-three years my senior. LOL! Basically giving the same arguments. Maybe it's a good idea...

Tenoch
I feel your frustration, man. I'm 41 and have yet to find a guy that is right for me. I completely gave up on men and just recently started going out again, now that my son is an adult.
I was hurt badly in the past by 2 different men who swallowed up 19 years of my life and I have huge trust issues.
I know there are some great guys out there, because I went out with some when I was in my teens.
Unfortunately, things have changed a bit since I was a teenager and all the guys seem to want now is to get laid, while all the good ones are taken.
I went dancing at a club with friends from work a few weeks ago and some guy was trying to hump my friend from behind. She's only 25 and as much as it pissed her off, she acted as if it was the norm. I know one thing for sure, if that guy tried to hump me, It wouldn't have been pretty.
Now this really upsets me because I love to dance, but now I can't go dancing because these pigs can't keep their dicks to themselves.
I listen to the guys talk at work and they're pigs. I don't want a pig, thank you very much.

Anyway, I wish I had some advice for ya, but seeing that I'm in the same boat, there's not much I can say.

Good luck to you in your quest to find love and wish me luck as well ;-)

sigh!!!

you must of gone to a hiphop club. and i'm sorry to say that it is the norm for guys to spontaneously start humping a girls leg at those kind of clubs. I reccommend a salsa club if you want to meet singles who won't do that. Unfortunately i'm not that good of a dancer. But i'm taking lessons to feel more confident at these kind of clubs. I live in the bay area so there are plenty of people who are really good at salsa. Even though i'm latino i wasn't naturally gifted with good dancing skills.

They were playing hiphop that night, but it's actually a country club called The Rockin Rodeo. My friend from work said that we went on a night when the younger people go and said that Saturdays were a more mixed group of older and younger people, so I'll try going on a Saturday next time.
I think it's great that you're taking up dancing. I never went out with a guy that liked to dance and whenever we went to clubs, I ended up not dancing because he didn't dance.
You're still young and I'm sure you'll find the right girl in time.
I still consider myself to be young and I know I'll meet someone some day.
I like younger men, so it might take me a while, lol.

Actually i don't like to dance, like most guys i'd rather do something else if given a choice.

But i do like meeting women. and i do like showing a girl a good time. I'll admit that dancing could be very erotic and it gets me in the mood. You also get a much better view of a girls shakin it, if your the one that's dancing with her.

I think it's pretty universal that ALL girls love dancing. why fight it?

So true, Tenoch ;-)

Lets try this from a different perspective. Was it her or you? Get your whinning out of your system, suck it up and press on. I bet she has. Next, if you are tryin to find somebody, you wont. If and when its going to happen it will. I've dated several different age range girls. gorls from my age to 8 years older to 12 years younger. I never forced the issue. When I met my current and only wife we were both in our 40's. Its been the best part of my life ever. oh and bra brag brag we've had two children together.
And, yes I do know what type of girl you are talking about. I thinkk you may have dated her. She,s ultra high maintenance and is into mtv make-up shopping and not figuring out how to complete college and she's 22.

I used to be the kind of guy you are. I used to tell people to get over themselves when they would cry about a significant other. i used to call guys and girls weak for feeling sorry for themselves. I've been quite the serial dater in my life and I rarely let a girl in close enough to hurt me. The two times that I have, i've been burned. and to tell you the truth i'm not really tryin to meet someone forcefully.

I agree that forcing the issue is not going to get results. I estimate that more than 50% of the girls I've ever been involved with approached me as a love interest and made the first move (including my last girl).

re
Yeah i'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with me. I've been having a bit of a drought this summer and feeling a bit pathetic. I'm not saying i'm the most sane, easy going person when one gets to know me, but guys arent even trying to get to know me. I dont want to sound conceited, but i think i'm attractive, i'm in much better shape than most people i see these days (i eat right, workout) dress fashionably, etc. It is frustrating and I'm ready to try online dating if things keep going like this. Ive realized that it's hard to meet people esp if you're not around people in your age group-i rarely am. All my friends have boyfriends so i rarely go out with them, then when we do go out, we arent exactly going to singles places. It stinks. The frustrating thing is that i' mentioned to my best friend that i might try online dating and her response was that it was weird and for people who have problems socializing.